Wandering Wondering Laughing

“Living Now”

2011-09-09T09:15:00.001-04:00

“We must live in the present, launch yourself in every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” – Thoreau
“We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success.” – Thoreau

As my life’s journey enters its 56^th year, I find myself viewing and experiencing the world from an altogether different perspective than in my youth. In my early years I truly lived in the moment launching on every wave that came my way, regardless of direction or intensity. My focus was on myself and the world as a whole was of no consequence to me personally. And yes, I did leap in the dark, but not always to success. So why then do I see differently now. Today, after 56 years, given the erosion of my health and the struggle of day to day living, I truly feel and embrace my mortality.

Death is an absolute certainty, and the fact that my body reflects the stresses of a hard life gives substance to the emerging reality of this human mortality. So in an through this feeling, this perspective is how I now see the world and those around me.

I am more sensitive today to the suffering of others. I ache when I see conflict in relationships. I know now how truly fragile life is and moreover how fragile our relationships are with others. If we do not build upon our connections with each other and learn how to live with each other then what are we and what will become of us. I can tell you that we will live alone, feeling the pain of alienation. We are meant to be in community and to have community we must “live” with each other.

I can remember hearing these words, “Once a harsh word is spoken, that moment can never be undone for the damage is done”. True!!! So true!!! Yet, in and through this reality we still must “live” with each other. We must “move” forward, our relationship must “grow”.

The perspective I see now is the clear distinction between good and evil. I see clearly what could be and still I am given to the rash moments of harsh, hard words to those who do not do what we want or expect. But you see, I NOW know that about myself and because I know this I can NOW do something about it. I have a choice and I know the consequences of these choices.

Thoreau, to me, is saying that all we really have is the “present moment”, and beyond that moment is the “”darkness of uncertainty”. But what he is also saying is if we launch into the darkness with “faith”, “trust”, “hope” and “love” then what happens in the “darkness” is happening to “US”- “ToGether!”

Looking beyond the shell of our experiences into the heart of each person opens a door to a kind of relational existence that God desires for us while we struggle in this fragile, uncertain, broken world where Sin, Death and the Devil are ever present. Leaping into the moment through that door to the heart of each other I believe leads us closer to God, for God for each other. And in that moment we truly “Live”!

May you find peace by Living NOW in this present moment and walk through the door of another’s heart and experience the “Hope” that God desires for us by giving us each other!

Amen.

Giving Becomes Wealth

2011-08-27T18:49:00.001-04:00

“We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Today I am 56 years and 1 month old. A notable achievement to those who grew up with me. I am talking about those who recall my 16-23 year old period.

I can say without a doubt I never gave a moment’s thought to my age, station in life or anything other than myself in the present moment in those days. Of course I cannot remember most of those moments either and it is probably just as well!!! What I mean to say is inasmuch as I did not give the future any thought then, so now today that is equally true, for different reasons. In those 16-23 year old exploits I spent more time taking than I did in giving and though my life unfolded as it did by the grace of God, I am richer today in looking back.

The difference is today I seek to live out each moment as fully and completely as I can, not for me, but for those around me, those that love me, those I know, those I may come to know, and the total stranger I meet only for a brief moment.

Today that matters, back in the day it did not. Today those experiences fill my heart with joy satisfying an emptiness that only God knows about and only God can fill.

By awakening to the human experience, to the awareness of the struggles of others, to the Holy Spirit working in and through each circumstance in my life’s experience affords a glimpse of the beauty and wonder of God. God’s PERFECT LOVE!

In these moments I know that I am richer beyond measure. Being willing to be poured out as a moment of kindness leaves an indelible impression upon a heart and soul that I may never, ever meet again. But in that brief instant, we are connected for an eternity by and through the Holy Spirit! Not because of me, not by me, but by and because of God.

Living as an empty vessel to be filled and spilled as red wine through all of my cracks and crevices that only God knows about leaves an eternal mark on those we pass by on life’s journey.

I cannot in coherent terms explain what all this means and I cannot provide some grand theological framework or model. What I can do is tell you that God loves us, all of us, none excluded. For in order to Love Me, You, Us, God who is perfect, must love all regardless of who or what we are or become. God does not love by exception. He created, creates and promises to create.

This awareness brings me more peace than you can ever know, you may not agree and that is ok, because I am ok with that. I believe that Jesus came not to judge us but to save us and in so doing provided a way back to God for all of creation. In order for that to work, it must be for all people, for all time – past, present and future. As we say in the Creed, Jesus died, was buried, descended into hell and on the third day he rose.

That is powerful, compelling, and all encompassing! Jesus defeated sin, death and the devil for all people – past, present and future. He paid the price for all of creation. And so, for me, living life in the present moment with full consciousness of how I am loved, I seek to give as much of that moment to others as I can. Being present with others, for others is as much an experience in God’s Love as I think one can have. And for me that has made all the difference!

God’s Peace Be With You Always

Hummingbird Don’t Fly Away, Fly Away

2011-08-15T13:07:00.001-04:00

This Sunday my daughter and grand-daughter came over for the afternoon and dinner. A wonderful time of laughter and excitement playing with the puppies and just taking in little Lillie Reese as explored every nook and cranny of our home.

It was right before dinner was ready that I stepped out the back door to walk the dogs when my heart sank. At my feet just beyond the screen door sat a precious little humming bird. He was just sitting on the step, not moving. I moved closer and it appeared to me that his wing was damaged, though I could not tell exactly how. I moved to gently pick him up and he fluttered and fell down to the next step, his wing was broken.

The lump in my throat was choking me. I felt so helpless. This little life, and there was nothing I could do. I gently picked him up and carried him to the edge of the yard where we have large holly bushes and ground cover and placed him there. At least he would have some protection from predators and the weather. So little, so fragile, so helpless – what could I have done? What should I have done? I just do not know at this point? I felt so helpless and totally useless? A creature of our great and loving God was hurt and I only moved the little life to a shelter and left him there to die. God have mercy upon me and forgive me for my selfishness.

I find myself of late looking for meaning in everything. It was not more than a month ago that I was standing in the back yard when I heard a buzzing sound, and when I turned around, there was a humming bird hovering just a few feet away from me and at eye level. He just hovered there for a few seconds, looking right at me, I said hello little one, and then he turned and flew away! I could not help but wonder if this was the same bird, and how he came to be injured.

I don’t know what all this means, if it means anything at all. But for now, I am feeling that God is revealing to me a truth about creation and “living” life. That truth is that “living” is a struggle and that there are no promises or guarantees of anything save the breath in our lungs. I live in the certainty that at some point I will die and there is nothing I can do about that certainty. I live in the certainty that loved ones may become sick, injured and die at some point, and there is nothing I can do about that outcome either. Just as I was unable to prevent the injury and subsequent death of that precious bird, I am powerless to stop such events and outcomes in my life and the lives of those dear to me.

The question that remains is how will I “Live” Life with these truths. Will I let these truths paralyze me to the point that I am unable to experience and “Live” in the love and joy of those that love me? Let this not be so! Let me “Live” in joy and peace. I am certain that God desires these things for me and those near to me. Yet, that is the very thing I have absolute control over. How I respond to the “things” that “happen” to me, around me and because of me is mine and mine alone! I own my behavior, thoughts and feelings and the expression of those same behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

I pray that God will grant me peace and strength to “live” in the joy of the gifts I have been given and to know God is in and through all that is around me and yet to come to me. I love my family and nothing will change my love for them or their love for me! Someone once said “Life Is For The Living!” How true if you are not alive with the love of God you are not “LIVING”! I pray to be ALIVE with the Love of God, for God, for Others!

The Angel Said, “Fear Not”

2011-08-14T12:42:00.001-04:00

It was 17 years ago that I was blessed by an angel of God speaking a clear, unequivocal and prophetic truth that just now has its meaning become clear. Ms. Elizabeth O’Connor, a writer, teacher, counselor, and missionary to the inner-city. She was a staff member of The Church of The Savior in Washington D.C., since 1953, and served as a support minister to that faith community, working with many of their mission programs. The words that follow spring from a program called “30 Good Minutes”, and at the time I first heard these words I would often reflect with friends and family that I understood and would share my views of the importance of preparing for change. It sounded good, and may have been of some help and comfort to others, but I was missing the point. Until recently I really had no idea of the foundational feelings that anchored Ms. O’Connor’s words and what they really meant.

In the last month, I was informed that my job would end, and thankfully I have about 11 months to secure another job. However, it is in the moment that I received the news I realized that I was now “in that hard place between the no longer and the not yet. The old is coming to an end or has ended, and we are not at all certain that we will find what it is we are to do next. It is often a time of self-doubt and of wobbling self-esteem.”

Elizabeth O’Conner was speaking directly to me. She gently described that “every seven years God takes us out into the wilderness so that we can hear the coming of the Angel. It is time to be born again, but first comes the dying -- dying to old fears, old conditions, old habits and expectations, a time of emptying and waiting -- waiting to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. What psychology calls a transition stage, Scripture calls a wilderness experience”.

I thought I was a person of faith, a believer in God. I expressed it with my words, and at times with my deeds. I had often spoken of “wilderness experiences”. I had experienced tragic death, fear and joy! But I had not experienced an absolute outcome so intimately mine! Feelings of extreme frustration gripped me! There was no changing this outcome. I was going to be unemployed! My income was going to stop! I was angry and afraid all at the same time. I felt so insecure, and betrayed! It was there that the secret to my growth lay. In these long buried scars now fully exposed must be confronted.

Here I experienced the grace of Ms. O’Connor’s prophecy. She shared that “a creative Work is connected with our deepest being, with the divinity that we carry in ourselves. It is an experience of liberation and of power and joy. It holds the mystery of Christ. This is why it is essential that we find the work that is ours to do”. In my long buried pain lay the fertile ground in which the Holy Spirit was cultivating new life in me, for me for my family and others.

Today I do not know what the future holds, and I am ok with that. The gift I was given by Elizabeth O’Conner 17 years ago reassures me that God is at work in and through my life. Abraham endured the wilderness and God was with him. I am in the wilderness and God is with me. I am called by God to Live this gift of life moment by moment with the full and complete awareness that I am loved and to share that love with all whom I know and meet!

May The Peace of Christ Be With You Always!

Amen.

Pray Dream Pray Build

2011-08-12T13:20:00.013-04:00

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put foundations under them!" - Henry David Thoreau

Ever found yourself wondering……

If your life mattered?
If you were making a difference?
If your dreams will ever come true?

Well, if you thought about answering yes to any of these or similar questions, it is my duty to inform you that you are perfectly normal! In case you did not already know that, I just wanted to get that in.

Yes, doubt is a normal, human feeling. Yes, doubt is an emotion that evokes a change in our thought processes. When any emotion takes the lead, our sensibilities take a hike!

Understanding how we process information, think, and make decisions is an area where we all could use some awakening. Too often we walk about unconsciously incompetent in many areas of “living” life. Being open to the reflection of our “living” from others is a key ingredient in moving from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. Just knowing where we are broken is empowering.

Yes, there in lay our choice. We must choose to listen and hear the reflection, then we must choose to process, think about and be responsive to that reflection. In and through this process the Holy Spirit is at work guiding, comforting, and helping us move away from incompetence towards a more healthy, productive and positive “living” of life.

This is of course a bit more involved than the few lines of my writing here. Remember, a human being is involved. A human who is prone to certain defined, predictable patterns or habits of “living” life. So, if we accomplish nothing other than this small awareness, God will create extraordinary new things in, through and from this fertile ground.

There are a few key things to consider in starting this journey;

Resist the temptation to do this on your “own”. We are not an island. God created us to live and thrive in community.

Keep a personal journal or notebook of your thoughts and feelings as you begin this journey. Write your prayers to God, regardless of what they are. This is between you and God.

When feeling over whelmed, or that old sensation of fear, dread begins creeping in, take out the journal and reflect back on what you have written. I guarantee that you will glimpse the work of the Holy Spirit in your life.

When all else fails, start with # 1 and repeat the process!

Jesus reminds His disciples of a promise, a promise of and from God: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me, John 14. And in John 16:33 he tells his disciples that they will have trouble, but, that He has overcome the world. We are not going to be free from pain, what we are free from is eternal separation from God! God is with us in and through all of life, death and life!

The place where God really wants to be is in our choices regarding the “Living” of Life! There the best work of the Holy Spirit will be done, and it is there that Thoreau is talking about building the foundation beneath our dreams!!!

God's Peace Be With You Always!

Unexpected Unknown Uncertain Unwanted

2011-07-29T11:32:00.005-04:00

On this day I find myself staring head on into an unexpected, unwanted, uncertain, and unknown future. In an instant my life's focus and the welfare of my entire family is swept away in the news of my loss of employment. And so I join the hundreds of thousands of 50 somethings who find themselves unemployed and wondering how they will live!

The stress I felt at the moment I was told is odd to explain. I was shocked, angry, sad and frightened all at the same time. Then I felt as if I were suspended in in time as if between two realities. I could see what was real and what was familiar and what was wanted and what was desired and I could see darkness and unknown, uncertain, unwanted, and unexpected in what was yet to be but was coming with certainty!

In that moment and the moments that followed I felt the real, comforting and certain presence of the Holy Spirit and the love of my wife. Later that same day I held my grand daughter close and felt her gentle heart beat.

Her smiles and gentle clinging to my hands reminded me that I too am a child - a child of the most high God! And I too am held gently in her hands, and that nothing, nothing, nothing can separate me from that eternal, everlasting love. And even though uncertainty may reign supreme for a time, God loves me and my family loves me and that is all that matters, and that makes all the difference in this world!

For God so loved the world..................

Amen!

Two Roads Diverged - And I…

2011-07-18T08:31:00.001-04:00

Sometime ago, I expressed my feelings about one of my favorite poems. “The Road Not Taken”, by Robert Frost. For me, Frost represented my life in totality in these few lines of compelling wisdom, beauty and truth.

Every time I read and reflect on these words, memories flood, with radiant color and clarity, into my conscious awareness. Moreover, it is in those times that I experience absolute clarity that I am where I am because of the great cosmic power of the Holy Spirit working in, around and through me. There is no other explanation for the events in life that led me here to this place on this day at this very moment with those around me who love me for who I am just as I am!!!!!

Even so, I am given to wondering how different my circumstance might be had my choices been different or timing early or late. Yet, it is in those moments of wondering and doubt that I again feel the real presence of the Holy Spirit gently nudging me, nourishing me back to the place I need to be to experience and know God.

Through all of the travails and tribulations of life I am reminded by the Spirit of God, just as Elijah was reminded at the mouth of the cave, that God is always present, and that I can find and experience God only when my heart, spirit and mind are stilled and focused only in the present and only on God. So I once again find great comfort, peace and encouragement in Frost’s beautiful and prophetic words;

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost, 1874 – 1963)

לקחתי את אחת פחות נסע וזה עשה את כל ההבדל

God’s Peace Be With You Always,

Sandy Gibson

Another Day

2011-07-07T14:51:00.002-04:00

As I so casually say some times, "just another day!". But now I find myself understanding what a blessing it is to actually have,"just another day!"

In awakening to "just another day", I enter a world that has started all over again, really! A new morning, fresh coffee, hot donuts, clean cool morning air to just name a few. I am coming to understand that it is my attitude that shapes my responses to the things and persons I encounter on this new day.

The journey can be one of genuine excitement like looking for hidden treasue, really does that sound like a childs game? Maybe it should, I do so want to approach each and every day from here on out as an expectant journey with a childlike curiosity and grace during which I expect to see our God creating new life all around me and I am an active part of that work.

So it is indeed just another day that the Lord has made and I will be glad and REJOICE IN IT!

Thanks Be To God !

God's Way of Reminding

2011-07-02T16:56:00.004-04:00

The more I see and hear the more I am convinced of the great, abiding and perfect love of God. Just when I feel sorry for myself and sink into self indulgent what might have been journey, I am made aware of God's actions in the lives of others and words that came from me are returned to me and serve as a refreshingly cool drink of water!

God does have a way of getting through all the junk, and I do so give thanks for this perfect love!

Where I am, There You May Also Be

2011-06-14T09:43:00.001-04:00

Rich Mullins recorded 9 songs on a battery powered cassette recorder in an abandoned church on September 10, 1997, nine days before his death. The songs were meant for a concept album based on the life of Jesus Christ, to be called Ten Songs About Jesus. This song titled, That Where I Am, There You..." touches me this morning in a way that is hard to explain, but I will try.

I posted earlier that I write from my feelings rather than from my thoughts, and that is where I am today writing from that place of pain.

Rich Mullins songs rather his poetry has always intrigued me with its heartfelt, raw authenticity of a life filled with a desperate hunger to be filled with the comforting, healing, and peaceful love of Jesus. This journey of seeking, sharing and serving led Rich Mullins to an abandoned church where these songs were recorded. I believe that during the recording of these 9 songs, Rich found himself in the awesome real presence of the Jesus he sought.

These songs we hear in such raw form indeed actually represent a private concert, a serenade, for God and we are able to listen in. That thought alone causes me to want to listen to these songs over and over again!

I need to hear these words, and the melodies over and over again for I truly believe that this man was a true prophet giving me insight into the heart of Jesus and a glimpse of how living could be in this world. The words of this particular song bring me comfort during days of turmoil, pain and uncertainty for myself and my family.

“In the world you will have trouble, but I leave you my peace
That where I am, there you may also be
Remember you did not choose me, no I have chosen you
Remember you did not choose me, no I have chosen you
The world will show you hatred, the Spirit show you truth
That where I am, there you may also be”

“In this world you will have trouble” – yes indeed – but Jesus says, “I leave you my peace that where I am, there you may also be”. There is no promise that all is going to be ok, that I will be healed if I pray hard enough, or that God is testing me….no! Jesus is saying we will have troubles, such is the way of life in this Post Garden World!! God told Adam and Eve in the creation story, “You Will Struggle Against the World”. BUT! God Clothed Then and God Was With Them!

Thank you Rich Mullins for this gift of love and for this glimpse into the heart of the Jesus you came to know so personally and intimately!

I have hope - hope that I am not alone in my pain, that I do not have to “Be” something other than who I am!

Thanks Be To God! Amen

Spilled Wine

2011-06-13T09:39:00.001-04:00

For those who read my posts to Facebook and my blog wanderingwonderinglaughing.blogspot.com I wish to express my heartfelt apology if my writing in any way caused discomfort, pain or disturbance upon any person’s feelings, thoughts and beliefs.

I write to express feelings more than my thoughts. This open and free forum gives me a place to “vent” as some say and I never, never intended to target any person. Recently I was made aware my words, candid as they are, were taken as personally attacking someone commenting on my status updates.

Again, it is not my desire or intention to attack persons, only to express my feelings and thoughts! The free and open expression is for me a cathartic method of coping with the tremendous stresses of today’s living as I am sure each of you knows firsthand. And I know that I do not have a monopoly on stress; though at times my posts may leave one with that impression.

Of course, I may feel that way, and since that is my feeling I am therefore free to write about it. Having said that, you see I am candid, I am not saying this to condemn or undermine any one person or group of persons. Please, post your thoughts and feelings as well.

I will continue to write and publish in this electronic public square, and I will do so with an increased sensitivity for my neighbor. May God continue to look upon you all with favor and give you peace!

Amen.

Prayerful Hoping–Please God Hear My Plea

2011-05-25T08:10:00.001-04:00

I find myself in recent days sinking into one of those dark places deep inside. These are places I run to when pain and stress overwhelms me with the feelings of being closed in, trapped. I know in my mind these feelings emerge from places rooted in my childhood experiences of being abused and witnessing the abuse of my mother and being abused by her as well.

A vicious, painful, cycle with no end, therefore the feeling of being trapped with no hope. Those are the feelings of a small child being abused and living as witness to violence in the home. A home that should be, is supposed to be sacred and safe.

So now when my safety is challenged; or a loved one hurt; I react from these wounded and deeply scared places in my soul. I know in my head when these things are happening. I actually see and feel myself responding, retreating and yes striking out defensively and with anger drenched in pain. I know this sounds crazy to some of you, and that is ok, that is where you are today. This is where I am today and I am struggling to, as they say, give this over to Jesus.

I am racked with anger every time I hear the statement, “just give it to Jesus”. This is not like something tangible like a rake or a coat that I can just give away. It does not work that way, sounds good, but ever so hurtful to say that to someone walking on this path as I walk.

I am convinced that this is intended to be a solitary journey. A journey of loneliness of thought. Alone with the Holy Spirit working deep inside my soul to mine the ugliness, the nastiness buried deep inside, like a cancer with thousands of minute tentacles reaching throughout my soul.

The extraction can only be done by the skilled patient hands of the Holy Spirit, as the hands of the most skilled neurosurgeon dissects and removes the tiniest of tumors during brain surgery. The Holy Spirit’s process is slow, but it is indeed in Kairos Time, God’s Time. So for us, for me, it does seem like an eternity passes before anything changes. Yet, it is in the blink of an eye.

What God does, and I see this everyday when I pay attention, is offer fresh new opportunities for me to be loved. Yes that is what I said, “for ME to be loved!” Not for me to “be a good disciple” but “for me to BE LOVED”.

In my studies of abuse and the abused, what stands out in my mind now is that folks like me find it very difficult to “be loved”. We believe we don’t deserve it, that we are some how at fault, living in guilt and shame. So yes, God creates new opportunities everyday for me to “BE loved”.

I know this, and I am working on owning this way of life. For I know that if I can accept God’s love on God’s terms letting his love wash over me, fill me, comfort me then I will be able to love God and thereby love my neighbor.

I pray and ask for your prayers for me and for those who are in similar circumstances as I, that God will heal and guide us towards the fullness of life he desires for us as his beloved children of God.

Moreover still, pray that we might find his peace in his perfect love and that his love will shape and form us into vessels willingly and faithfully filled with the newest of new wine, the love of God, ready to be poured out upon all who thirst and are in pain!

Thanks be to God for taking time to read this lamentation and prayer!

May God’s Peace Be With You Always!

LOVE WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks Be To God!

2011-05-22T05:56:00.001-04:00

So it is without question that God so loved the world that He Chose to save all of creation past, present and future through the life, death and life of his only son Jesus! As the writer of Genesis reflects on God’s love of creation, “God surveyed all that he had created and it was good! So very Good!” AMEN!

It Really Is That Simple: God’s Love Wins!

2011-05-13T21:01:00.001-04:00

When we read that salvation is not God's rescue of people from the world but the rescue of the world itself, we can give thanks that the whole of creation is liberated from its slavery to decay (Romans 8:21). For me, I am perplexed as to why so many people wish to debate rules and such other crapso much so as to dilute the message of Jesus Christ! What I am speaking about is our obsession with who is going to heaven and who is going to hell. The last time I checked, that was of the mind of God and not us. We are called to Love and Share! Really people. Isn’t it about time we put aside this childish game of who’s on top!

It is without debate that God is the creator and sustainer of all that is and will ever be. Man is not ruler or sustainer. We are what we are, part of the decay! The new testament proclamtion of both Jesus and Paul are clear and to the point.

Jesus replied; Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.( Matthew 22:37-40) Paul writes: All of the commandments are summed up in this one: Love your neighbor as yourself. …love fulfills the requirements of God’s law. Romans 13: 8-10

As for me and my house, we will trust in God and God alone. We will love God and love our neighbor. I pray that you will too!

And then one day we will all see clearly!

Our Choices Shape Us And Our Response To Others

2011-04-28T23:11:00.001-04:00

We can truly say that this all started when it all started, in the beginning.....when the serpent said to Eve, “Did God really say …..”

Of the several negative communication patterns congregations practice, three habits are particularly problematic: triangulation, pass-through communication, and anonymous feedback. While these three may be strategies for getting needs met, they all block rather than help healthy communication.

Even if well intentioned, they are deadly habits that in the long run allow people to dodge accountability, gain power, and alienate others. Once everyone understands how to break these habits, those who persist will eventually have to stop or they will become so uncomfortable and isolated that they will leave the congregation. To clean up bad communication habits, congregations can do three things: reduce the triangulation, eliminate pass-through communication, and reject anonymous feedback.

Reducing Triangulation
While people often suggest that venting is good for the soul, it is actually not very productive. Venting to someone about a third person is simply an avoidance technique that creates what is known in counseling theory as a relationship triangle, or triangulation. Triangulation is talking about feelings, opinions, or personal issues regarding some person or group with a third party instead of with the person or group actually concerned.

Relationship triangles usually involve three people who each take one of three roles: victim, persecutor, and rescuer. Once in a triangle, people change places among its three points. The only way to stop the triangulation is for each person to communicate his or her feelings, concerns, or opinions directly to the other. Of course, the best communication strategy is to avoid being recruited into a triangle in the first place. But so often well-intentioned faith leaders and congregants listen to another person’s concerns, feelings, or opinions, then realize they inadvertently let themselves be co-opted into involvement, sometimes even taking sides.

Once in a triangle, escape may take some courage and clarity but is possible. The triangulated person can redirect the other person straight to the appropriate individual or committee—the one actually involved in the personal issues or the one that can address the concern or mend the relationship. A three-way conversation sometimes helps, but only if the third party facilitates without taking sides or having an agenda, without speaking for one of the other parties, and without adding to the emotional drama.

Eliminating Pass-through Communication
Some congregations get in the habit of pass-through communication. To get a message to someone, you tell someone else. Like triangulation, pass-through information also involves three parties, but the content of the information is less emotional and personal—sometimes as simple as the expected outcomes of a meeting.

With both triangulation and pass-through communication, few people take responsibility for what is accurate and few people speak directly to each other. Informal channels of pass-through communication lead to misunderstandings down the road. Like the children’s telephone game, the content usually becomes distorted and often the necessary action delayed. Miscommunication may occur unintentionally, but individuals or groups also can use pass-through communication to divide congregations and stir up conflict.

Giving the message to whomever is close by and expecting him or her to pass it on may seem expedient, but there is no substitute for the direct message. And like triangulation, pass-through communication must be stopped for healthy congregational functioning. Again, the individual being asked to pass something on has the power to stop the pattern. A simple statement such as “I’m not comfortable carrying that message” or “I might mix up what you’ve said, so perhaps you could call him yourself” is very helpful. The intended messenger needs to clarify why that person is talking to him or her instead of the individual who needs the information. If he or she is dodging responsibility for direct communication, the intended messenger should be all the more determined to stop the pass-through effort.

Rejecting Anonymous Feedback
Why would someone give feedback anonymously? There are several reasons. Anonymity allows people to avoid accountability for the content. The individual with the complaint or accusation may also fear reprisals. Sometimes the individual simply doesn’t know whom to talk to about a concern. At other times the individual is trying to get his or her way in a conflicted situation, but stays underground to maintain the appearance of being in a harmonious relationship with other congregants. Personnel committees and other groups that oversee pastoral ministry must be clear in their policies and practices that they will neither receive nor take seriously anonymous complaints—letters, phone messages, e-mails, or pass-through communication. Slanderous comments in particular should not be disseminated by the recipient, not even to the clergyperson or any others on a committee, unless the content contains serious threats or requires a legal response.

Congregations can waste a lot of energy on slanderous static that interferes with their listening to and addressing real issues. If e-mails are sent from unknown sources, they can be stopped by a trusted leader sending a letter to the congregation asking everyone to block the anonymous sender of the “junk” information and to ignore the content. Anonymous communication is damaging to everyone in the congregation because feelings are often expressed but cannot be resolved. Wounds are named but cannot be healed. Criticism is offered without the chance to explore the possibility of healing.

To stop anonymous feedback, clergy and lay leaders need to agree that it is counterproductive. You can’t apologize to anonymous. Anonymous will remain angry or sad until he or she comes forward with the truth. Anonymous others cannot and should not be considered when making leadership decisions or resolving conflicts.

A congregation can greatly reduce negative criticism and unresolved hard feelings with these simple and clear boundaries: no triangulation, no pass-through information, and no anonymous communication. When recruited into a communication triangle or to pass information on to another person, leaders need the mantra, “Please tell the person (or committee) directly yourself.” When asked to respond to anonymously obtained information, leaders need to simply refuse to consider it substantive until the anonymous person is willing to more clearly own his or her concern.

Congregational communication can sometimes hide secrets, agendas, and conflict. While clearer boundaries and transparency in communication may cause negative aspects of congregational life to come into the light, they also reveal the strength, commitment, and love that bind the congregation together—ultimately giving more courage to faith leaders to address any negative dynamics that hinder their faith journey as a community.

How to Clean Up Bad Communication Habits
Speak directly to the person or committee that the issue concerns. Refuse to carry a message from one person or group to another. If two people talk with you about each other, offer to meet with both of them together or to find them a mediator. If a person complains to you about someone else but refuses to directly talk with the person to resolve the problem, ask him or her to stop talking to you or others about it. Reduce venting by first listening and then asking what action the person will undertake to resolve the problem. Refuse to take nonspecific or anonymous feedback seriously.

Heaven on Earth

2011-03-27T22:45:00.008-04:00

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth".
"For God so loved the world that he gave his only son."

In these two verses, we find what I consider the very foundation of our faith "Love". God created the heavens and the earth and God so loved the world that he gave his only son so that we might be freed from the bondage of sin. And in John 3:17, Jesus assures us that he is here not to judge the world, but to save it and us! Thanks Be To God! But, it does not stop here, there is more. Matthew in chapter 22 records Jesus' crystal clear instruction regarding how we are to live, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Love is the key! Love is all things for all people. On this one thing we all agree regardless of our denominational, racial, national or cultural affiliation. Love is Love!

So, without a doubt love is universal and prevails. Love Indeed Wins! Moreover, God's Love is of course perfect. God's plan is perfect! God's plan is to redeem the world and all that is in it, not destroy it. Why would God destroy that which he created and then said it was good. We, human kind found a way then and we are doing pretty good at destoying now.

Nevertheless, I do not want to lose sight of the main thing and that is we are all on a journey, a journey that will bring us all to reconciliation with each other and with God, to Shalom! As it was in the beginning, so it shall be now and forever. God will bring us together, the question is how long will we fight against God and each other.

My prayer is that we listen to what God is saying to us and accept the love that is offered to us from God through each other and become a comforter for others, for God! AMEN.

Where Is The Kingdom of God?

2011-02-21T21:11:00.010-05:00

I often times hear the questions “what is heaven like”, “where is heaven”, and “will I see Jesus when I die”? You know the questions, these are but a few; we all ask them. Moreover, we hear of the near death experiences of people reporting glimpses of the “after life” or of heaven. I do not wish to take away from these experiences nor do I desire to add to them. I know many find hope is these stories, however I want to talk about the essence of “The Kingdom of God” as taught by Jesus.

Let's start at the beginning. In Genesis we read the creation story told for thousands of years by word of mouth before being written down. We know this is not an historical or scientific account just the account of God’s creation, redemption and love of Her Children. I tell you this to make this point, God created the earth and all that is in it, for God, for us – all of us. Here is the foundation of the Kingdom of God, then and now and forever.

The teaching of Jesus as re-presented in Matthew, Mark and Luke all point to one thing – that we are to love and care for each other. Jesus modeled for us how to live in and with all of creation. He taught by word and deed. In every respect Jesus is always sharing the peace, Shalom. Shalom is the Peace of God. This is very important to take note of as Shalom comes from the Hebrew root verb shalom meaning to be complete, perfect and full. Herein is the very root of the ministry of Jesus – to make whole. God desires to reconcile all of creation to Herself; The Kingdom of God – On Earth! We will not Go Anywhere – Emmanuel – God With Us. The scriptures are neither cryptic nor apocalyptic – just a record of God’s continuous creation.

Today, we have the choice to love, forgive and live together as God’s chosen people, or not. To love others just as they are, just as God loves us, just as we are, as He finds us. Love. - God chooses us - all of us!

St. Paul writes that "now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Love is the key. Not to make others in our image. We are all already created in the image of God. We are called to reflect that love to others….Just think The first choice in the garden to the choice we make in the next instant. We are free chose to Love and we are free to choose not to love. It is really that simple - yet the hardest thing we could ever do, if left on our own - Jesus does not leave us alone - we can do this.

We know from the gospels that this phrase, "the kingdom of God has come near," is what Jesus taught his apostles to proclaim in the communities near and far. This is the good news – the message of Jesus: the waiting is over. The time has now come. God is doing something new, something that the whole world has been waiting for centuries to see. What is it? The kingdom of God has finally come near. God’s reign has finally arrived. In and through each of us.

Not by some story of beyond the death experiences, and not by rapture or heaven far away – now – today each of us has within us the spirit of God, we are called, gathered, washed, fed, equipped and sent to represent Christ to the world, one person at a time – and to tell them the Kingdom of God has come near.

Shalom, wholeness, completeness – through the love of God, lived out each and every day by each of us! This is where we find the Kingdom of God, right here, right now! Let us chose Shalom, NOW!

Glimpses of Light

2011-02-20T14:21:00.007-05:00

Walking on the beach in the pre-dawn stillness renews in me a spirit of hope. That feeling emerges from deep inside my heart through layers of guilt and pain. I can't help but feel inspired as a new day awakens from a deep dark sleep. The tide slowly rolls in, sea gulls awaken and take flight in search of food. The sun foretells its arrival with rays breaking over the horizon rolling back the night.

There was a time in my life where I could care less about a sunrise, why get up so early. Now, being a part of the birth of a new day and feeling a hope deep inside about what that day might bring is something I do not want to miss out on. I want to start new and look for what God is doing!

So, I don't plan a day, much as I used to - I just try to experience it as it comes my way. Too often in my past, I've missed the gifts from God through others. I'd just be about my chores, tasks and not pay attention and even get angry at those getting in my way or cutting in front of me.

Today, I work at paying attention to what is around me, seeking and noticing the people coming and going. Through this I have found a treasure trove of love, grace and peace. Stopping, sharing, inviting and welcoming others often brings more to me than I share with them. Oh sure, I run across someone like me, or was like me. But you know, I know who they are, and why - cause they are me, just like me. So I give a gift of peace and patience - rather I try, I am a work in progress you know, in the hope that they me see just as I have seen.

I tell you these things in the hope that you may experience a renewal of the spirit of hope that comes as a gift from God. This is a gift we must unwrap, unpack and bring out into the open and uss every single day. And you know, this gift will never wear out - it grows in strength and stature with every use, just as we will grow in grace, strength and love with its every use.

Please do not think I am preachy, please know that I am far from perfect, I stumble more times than not, but I know the truth - I know where I come from and I do not want to go back - God has given me a gift to share, still not sure what it really is that He has given me to share.

I know this, when I am still, when I listen, when I wait, God reveals to me the things I need through His glimpses of new light in each and every new dawn. So I thank God for cool mor

nings of the quiet beach thirsting for glimpses of new light.

I will see as many new mornings as I can, for these are true gifts of a magnificent and loving God. Amen.

Well, So It All Comes Down To Prayer……

2011-01-08T21:41:00.001-05:00

Ever found yourself in a position where you felt that the only thing left to do was to just pray? You know what I mean, all else tried and failed; not sure what is to come next; no answers to be found anywhere; wondering if God is even listening anymore?

Well then, it does all comes down to prayer! That is it. There is nothing more to be said. So why do we seem disappointed when it all comes down to just prayer? Are we without faith? Are we ready to give up? Well, the truth is the answer to both questions, if we are honest with ourselves, is YES! We are human, we are products of the fall, we are sin and we live in sin and the world is sin! So what on earth are we to do? According to many writers we should do just what Jesus did, and that is to pray.

There are at least 17 instances of Jesus praying recorded in the gospels. For Jesus, he…

prayed often;
prayed early in the morning, late at night, all night;
prayed before critical events; and
prayed for others;

At Pilgrim Church we have a custom of praying at 6:33. The 6:33 is based on Matthew 6:33 – seek first the kingdom of God. I recently through our aLiVeWiReFoRuM participants invited ALL to join the aLiVeWiRePrAyErTeAm to pray daily at 6:33pm for our church leaders, staff and volunteers. To ask God to bless and keep those who serve in these positions, to give them wisdom and grace and to reveal her vision for our community for others.

I urge you to join with us in solemn prayer for all church leaders, staff and volunteers as we continue in uncertain times in our communities, our nation and our world. Jesus promises us in John 14:13 , “…I will do whatever you ask in my name..”

So, it all comes down to prayer and thanks be to God that it does, so then let us pray.

Sudden Bursts of Life

2010-12-26T19:42:00.003-05:00

Sudden bursts of life are unpredictable and almost always result in dramatic change! You know, there you are rocking along in life everything neatly in its assigned bucket, filled just to a level where it won’t spill if there is a slight jiggle or jaggle along the way.

And then it happens – KAPOW – “A Sudden and Brilliant Burst of Life” fills your space and stops all movement and even your breathing in an instant! Certainly more than a jiggle or a jaggle! WHOA!!!!

So, what is a “Sudden Burst of Life”, (SBOL)? Well, for me and my family it happened on the morning of the 15th of December 2010 when my daughter called her Mom and said, “I think Lillie Reese is coming, my contractions are 5 minutes apart”. Her Mom, my wife, who is very wise, said to my daughter, “it is ok, let’s wait until 10:00am and your doctor’s appointment and then make a decision about going to labor and delivery”. And so they waited, leaving me at work with, oh well little information, so there I sat.

Well about 1:30pm, my daughter called her Mom again and reported her contractions as 3 minutes apart. So they each departed for Lexington Medical Center. I arrive at the Maternity Triage at about 3:00pm and all is seemingly on track.

At about 9:30pm, the Labor and Delivery nurse comes and says let’s try a practice push to see how you are doing. Well she pushed, the Nursed YELLED STOP! Team to Room 11 NOW; TEAM TO ROOM 11 RIGHT NOW, TEAM TO ROOM 11 NOW - - well they rushed in, the doctor 30 seconds behind the nurse and he yelled sweetheart, your are going to have to hold up a second. Well Lillie Reese had other ideas and at 9:40pm, less than about 10 minutes from the practice push she burst into our lives with a powerfully healthy set of lungs proclaiming to all the world her presence!

My life changed forever, at that moment I went from Husband, and Father to Grand Father! All I could do was wander around the labor and delivery room filled with all of the activities in and around my daughter and this new life – all I could see was my bride, my daughter, my grand daughter and Justin. At that moment the only lives that mattered to me and entrusted to me by God to love and to cherish as long as God gives me breath!

Sudden Bursts of Life are unexpected and certainly undeserved! Yet God sends them reeling into our lives because she believes in us and has faith in us to love and to live with and for each other as Children of God, as part of an eternal family joined together through the waters of baptism and sustained by Bread and Wine and God’s Holy and Eternal Word!

Thanks Be To God for Lillie Reese’s Bursting Into Our Lives and Changing Us Forever For God!

AMEN!

Who Will Love Me For Me

2010-12-23T21:43:00.002-05:00

I love this song written by JJ and Dave Heller. Each and everytime I hear it on the radio my heart aches for those who have been hurt by the institutional church. My heart aches for those outside the walls of our churches who are suffering in silence from wounds inflicted long ago and just a moment ago. We will all sit in pews all in a row tonight and sing Silent Night and light candles and receive the sacrament of Holy Communion and we will feel all good and righteous inside. My heart aches for those who look at “us” as we worship, pray, make the sign of the cross, and go home no different in values, attitudes and actions than when we entered the building earlier in the evening.
These words from JJ and Dave Heller are a haunting reminder of our powerlessness, our helplessness - apart from God, making us all the same:

He cries in the corner where nobody sees

He’s the kid with the story no one would believe

He prays every night,

Dear God won’t you please

Could you send someone here who will love me?”

Who will love me for me?

Not for what I have done or what I will become

Who will love me for me

Cause nobody has shown me what love

What love really means

The people I am talking about are the people nobody sees. We pass them every day in the store, on the street, at work. These are the people no one believes in; who no one has shown them what love really means.

We are the Children of God, freed through the waters of baptism to be salt and light to the world. We are not called to take care of ourselves. No we are called to serve others, to wash the stinking feet of those we meet along the pathway of life. We do not get to choose – we are chosen. Jesus loves us for who we are, where we are, just as we are. He loves us enough to not leave us where we are as we are. Think about the power of what we possess and how we can impact the life of another person.

A Beautiful Evening

2010-12-19T09:32:00.001-05:00

On the evening of the 15th of December 2010 at a about 9:40pm, a beautiful miracle of God was witnessed by the few of us gathered in room 11 of the labor and delivery wing of Lexington Medical Center.

At that hour, God breathed life into the lungs of Lillie Reese. Daughter of Victoria and Justin, Granddaughter of Karen and Sandy, Great Granddaughter of Billie. My view of myself and my place in this world changed in an instant. There before my eyes lay the most beautiful creation I have witnessed since the birth of my two children!

There is no doubt that in child birth one can sense the person of the Holy Spirit working in and through all gathered to bring a child into the world. This was my first live birth! Both my children were born via C-Section so this was all new, and very humbling for me.

I give thanks to God in heaven for the grace, mercy and love that allowed me to witness this birth, the coming to life of my first Granddaughter, Lillie Reese!

Thanks Be To God!

Joyful Morning - SEC Eastern Division Champs - More To Come

2010-11-14T06:26:00.000-05:00

Sun, Fun and Boche Ball

2010-11-11T19:53:00.001-05:00

Boy, here it is almost Thanksgiving and already I miss the beach. The week in October was not enough. I enjoyed the sun, fun and family time so much and I want it to never end.

Planning is underway for part 2, and we will have a new member of our tribe with us when we go, Miss Lillie Reese, granddaughter!

Thanks be to God! Amen

forgiveness?

2010-09-04T09:53:00.001-04:00

As we begin discussions among ourselves and in our Sunday school and small groups regarding forgiveness it is important to keep ever present in our minds what forgiveness is and is not. Each of us have some level of bible IQ, and that is probably just enough to be dangerous. We must approach this subject humbly. We don't know, what we don't know; we are unconsciously incompetent on this subject, forgiveness. Moreover, most of us are not trained clinicians or therapists, so again, caution is the order of the day. So, I offer the following for you as we make this journey.

"Forgiveness means that we are not going to allow
the experiences of the past to dominate our future”

If the term "forgiveness" is a stumbling block, think of the process as letting go of the bitterness.
Forgiveness is not a one-time choice but a series of choices that redirects your focus away from the past.
Forgiveness is not the same thing as a pardon. If the other person had not harmed you, there would be no need to forgive.
Reconciliation is not required to forgive. Your abuser does not even need to know that you have chosen to let go of your bitterness.
Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain.
Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.
Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future.
Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.
Finding a qualified therapist with experience in counseling people with abuse history is an important part of healing from abuse. A therapist can help you work through the process of forgiving your abuser.

If would like to talk with a counselor contact our Ministry Partner, LifePoint Counceling Center. http://www.lifepointcenter.org/.

Breaking The Chain

2010-08-30T23:10:00.001-04:00

I was googling through the internet searching for background on “forgiveness” and abuse and I ran across a wonderful, pointed quote that says what I feel. I paraphrase it here; “I choose to no longer experience the world through this piece of pain”. My intent is to make the effect experiential. Stating clearly that I will no longer be:

Trapped by this pain;
Controlled by this pain;
Enslaved by this pain;
Defined by this pain;
Be All Consumed By This Pain

To forgive means putting down the pain and releasing the abuser from recompense. That is a ten dollar word for revenge. This does not mean that you are releasing the offender from just deserts under law, no, the person who hurt you may have to face the consequences of their actions according to the laws of the state. The release I am talking about here is the “thing” that causes you grief, anxiety, anger and which “controls” your thoughts and actions and relationships. Putting that aside enables and empowers your “living” again! To live your life the way God desires for you!

As I wander through this life, I learn more and more of the brokenness in this world and in those I meet. Taking the time to listen has resulted in blessings beyond all measure for me. I am humbled by those who stop and share their pain with me. I hurt for them deeply. A friend describes this as being an “empath”. Noted Psychologist, Heinz Kohut, puts it this way, “Empathy is the capacity to think and feel oneself into the inner life of another person”. Empathic listening signals openness, and acceptance. More good can be done being silent and attending to someone in pain than all the words in the english language.

My lesson learned is that God intends for us to be free, and to pursue wholeness – Shalom! That means simply being open to the Holy Spirit through constant prayer and conversation with others. That conversation also means being willing to sit with and hear the stories of others walking in their own pain. Through walking with others in their pain is freeing for oneself as well. We are not alone and we should not live as if we are alone. God is with us, God promises Good to us and for us and God keeps her promises!

God’s Peace,

WOW – I Love Saturdays

2010-08-21T23:47:00.001-04:00

I love Saturdays and it is not even “officially” college football season. Our house is full of activity, family, smells of good food cooking, conversation, dogs barking, dishes clattering in the sink – sounds that are like the music of angels. I want to milk every moment out of this day God gifted me with, I do not want to miss a single moment.

There was a time in my life when I grew impatient with visits, with noise, with just about anything that did not directly involve my personal interests or priorities. As my hair disappeared and what was left turned grey God awakened me to the beauty, warmth, security and joy of family, my family, God’s family. Being inside the second half of one’s life provides a unique perspective. I look back on my first 55 years, and many of those years can make even the strongest squeamish! Yet, through all of those reckless actions, I arrived at the station of life I occupy today. A gift given me by God with which I pray to be a good steward and multiply that gift for God, for God’s People. And so it is that I reflect tonight on the countless expressions and experiences of love, compassion, and selfless giving that came my way.

I know what you are thinking. It is not all wine and roses. There are struggles; I have good days and bad. After all I suffer from an incurable degenerative disk disorder complicated by advanced stenosis of the spine and intense neuropathic pain which explains the huge pharmacy bill I pay each and every month. The pain sometimes exceeds the medications, and I lapse into a depressive or agitated state and am not pleasant to be around, just ask my family. Yet, they love me through those times, and coach me on coping skills when the pain and moods come. Nevertheless, this is life and it indeed happens, whether we want it to or not.

Recognizing that we are living in an imperfect world broken by sin, death and the devil and that these things that “happen” to us and around us are not of God, and not even of the devil, but as a consequence of sin in the world in which we live. And we can make a difference, together, in our faith in God and in each other.

Together, as the gathered people of God, we make a difference when we see beyond ourselves and our personal wants and needs. Looking past the walls of our homes to the needs of others makes us instruments of God’s Peace working in the world for others leads us back towards each other and the love we seek, and the love we receive is from God.

I do not know what is holding you back from living free, from living for the Kingdom of God, I can only speak for myself and what I have faced, what I face and what I will face tomorrow. I know I will face increasing pain and disability, that is most certainly true nevertheless I have hope, hope that is made real each and every day by the love of God expressed through my dear family and the gathered people of God I meet and share water, word, bread and wine with at every opportunity!

It is my prayer tonight that no matter what you face, no matter how painful or how dark the path, know this, God loves you and She loves you perfectly and moreover, we the gathered people of God love you as well. We are everywhere, especially in the Churches,Synagogues and Mosques every week.

Join us! Come, See and Experience the Greatness of Our God!

Amen

Powdered Donuts

2010-08-21T10:28:00.001-04:00

I awakened this morning as I do most mornings to walk the dogs, make the coffee, feed the dogs, check the weather, check the news and fix my first cup of coffee. Except this morning I decided to do something different, something out of the ordinary. I decided we needed powdered donuts and a newspaper.

Something different, something nice to start a hopeful lazy Saturday. The donuts were wonderful and the coffee was smooth! I can’t remember the last time we had a quiet Saturday morning around the dining room table eating sweet goodness, drinking smooth, bold, hot coffee and reading the paper and watching the birds and squirrels outside. NICE! Something different!

What I did this morning was different, a break from a normal morning routine, and it was fun. During my foray to the grocery, I noticed people out and about shopping for staple items, and then there was the guy buying a big bag of charcoal for his cooker on the back of his pick-up truck. Where ever he was going, they were going to have some great food!

This little deviation from the norm felt a little odd, and a little uncomfortable. I did have to get fully dressed, locate my wallet, money, car keys and shoes. But the discomfort only lasted a few minutes and was all gone by the time I bit into my first donut! When Karen and Jessica awoke and spotted the treats they smiled and enjoyed. Simple things bring great blessings!

This is how it is with God and discipleship. I don’t think we are all called to perform great and treacherous missions for God. We read of those missionaries who give their lives in service to God and I am awed and then humbled by their service and sacrifice. Maybe that is what holds us back, we think we are unworthy of such sacrifices in the name of Christ. Thinking of this sort can bring paralysis to oneself and to the larger community eventually leading to a sense of helpless hopelessness and then fear – fear of change – paralyzed to change, almost frozen in time!

Maybe it is as simple as donuts and a newspaper – a slight deviation from the norm. Small simple acts, in faith, for God, for others, will stir the spirit, if only to bring a smile to a face so early in the morning. This is the essence of discipleship, small acts directed to serve others, building one upon the other over time building trust and hope!

To think, we get all of this from a few powered donuts, a newspaper and a cup of coffee on a cloudy Saturday morning! God is Good All The Time.

May our God of Peace, Grace and Mercy be with you always!

Amen.

A New Day

2010-08-15T00:46:00.000-04:00

I am so enjoying the blessings of a gracious and loving God. This is not to say that there are no bumps in the road or sudden and unexpected turns and twists. There are, and some of them are really hard to deal with and some are very painful. Especially the ones related to my neuropathic pain and stenosis. But in and through each challenge I learned more about myself, my relationship to my family and to my God. The single most important thing for me is my family which is a gift from God that I cherish and protect. I learn more about my God each and every day. I am more and more attentive to what will happen each day, opportunities to serve and to be a witness for God.

I pray your journey will be fulfilling and rewarding and that you to will grow in faith each and every day.

Amen!

Over My Head

2010-08-09T07:10:00.002-04:00

Paul writes, “And so here I am, preaching and writing about things that are way over my head, the inexhaustible riches and generosity of Christ. My task is to bring out in the open and make plain what God, who created all this in the first place, has been doing in secret and behind the scenes all along. Through followers of Jesus like yourselves gathered in churches, this extraordinary plan of God is becoming known and talked about even among the angels! All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in her, [She trusts in us] we're free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don't let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud!”

When Paul says he is over his head, well that is saying something. The bottom line here is we do not have to be experts in theological, hermeneutical whatever - we just need to know whose we are – an imperfect, soaking wet, baptized, beloved child of a gracious, merciful, bountiful, loving God! And that is what we talk about with those we meet along our life’s pathway.

I pray for God's abundant blessings and peace to surround and comfort you throughout all of your days!

Amen!

Exhausted For Jesus

2010-08-08T21:18:00.007-04:00

"Exhausted, Elijah fell asleep under the lone broom bush. Suddenly an angel shook him awake and said, "Get up and eat!" He looked around and, to his surprise; right by his head was a loaf of bread baked on some coals and a jug of water. He ate the meal and went back to sleep. The angel of God came back, shook him awake again, and said, "Get up and eat some more—you've got a long journey ahead of you." (1 Kings 19:3-8 The Message)

Elijah, a powerful prophet of God, is on the run, fleeing for his life from Jezebel. He runs as far as he is able before falling asleep beneath a lone broom bush. As he sleeps, he is awakened by an angel and told to get up and eat a meal of fresh baked bread and water. He eats and again falls back asleep, the angel later awakens him again with this instruction, "Get up and eat some more - you've got a long journey ahead of you". It is here, in this part of the story that brings me great comfort as I begin the 55th year of my life. I have been running in the journey of life for quite some time, and I do feel weary, my body does not do all that it used to do, or at least as well as it used to work. I tire fairly easily, and am less and less tolerant of conflict and difficulty.

It is easy to lose sight of God's presence when difficulties appear in our lives like a flat tire on the way to work, in the rain. Then an appliance at home breaks, a sudden illness, a past due bill, a major project falls apart at work. You get the idea, as the saying goes if bad things could happen, they will!

So when I am in the midst of the crap, my blood pressure rises, adrenalin kicks in and migraines come to roost and my positive attitude vanishes into thin air. At this point I am not looking for God's hand in my life or what she is creating, I am only concerned about being angry about my circumstance. Not good you say, well I agree but I am smack dab in the middle of the crap storm and it smells really bad and feels even worse. So it is that I come to this particular story of Elijah's Faith Journey. I am fleeing failure,and or persecution, as I journey through life. It seems that we are either running towards something or away from something or both at the same time!!!

But here this good news brothers and sisters! Through this long, tiring, trying and tumultuous faith journey I can tell you I have experienced the renewal provided by God during the lowest points of my life. Most especially in the past few years when my health took a terrible down turn. I found myself in excruciating pain from a degenerative disk disorder, with stenosis and neuropathic pain. Suffice it to say, a lot of potent drugs, surgery and long term pain management ensued.

In and through this journey we were visited with a myriad of family and financial difficulties all falling in on us at the same time. Did I say hear the good news! Well here it is, through all of this I was uplifted by the prayers of all of the disciples I have come to know over the years as well as calls and cards and personal visits and inquiries! When I returned to work many co-workers offered assistance and prayers each and every day. We came through each and every difficulty despite ourselves and our angst, especially mine. God was, is and promises to be present in and through everything, it was not until I reflected back on all of these months that I realized just how much God provided fresh bread and fresh water to nourish me and for the long journey still ahead of me.

The angel's message is very important; God is calling us into service, forever! That service has no end, we do not graduate, retire, or get discharged. We journey all the way to the day we rest in the arms of Jesus! When the angel says, eat and drink, you still have a long way to go simply means gather together as the church, eat bread and drink wine together, be renewed in God’s word and go and feed Her sheep! Know this brothers and sisters, God’s has unconditional faith in us; she knows we can, if we only will! And we can if we only try - together.

I plan to go forward with a prayer on my lips and the story of Elijah under the broom bush in my heart. God feeds and comforts me so I can continue my journey. Join me and let us go and serve the Risen Lord!

Wonder and Thanksgiving

2010-08-01T08:42:00.003-04:00

This week I reached a magnificent and some of my friends and past acquaintances might say miraculous milestone. Anyway, reaching the "double nickels" is for me noteworthy and an occasion to take look at from whence I have come and to whom I belong. I am in that point in life where I am witness to the wonder of God's blessings.

First my son married a wonderful and beautiful young lady, they both graduated from the Lutheran Seminary and he is in the call process and may be serving soon in a North Carolina Church.

My daughter is a successful, licensed color stylist in a wonderful salon in the trendy district of West Columbia along the river. And, she is nurturing a new life within her womb that in December will become our first Granddaughter.

My beautiful spouse is a second career Lutheran Pastor in a wonderful, loving congregation here in Lexington, South Carolina.

These are but a few of the many things I am eternally thankful for and could never, ever be deserving of receiving on my own merits. I tell you these things to say that when starting out on our life's journey, we really have no clue where we will wind up and in what condition we will be in. I could never have imagined that I would have such a wonderful, loving and precious family and so many loving brothers and sisters in Christ.

So one might say why did God choose me to have a loving family and others to not. Or why is my health better than my neighbor or why is there so much poverty and hunger. I do not know, and I am indeed humbled by all of these things. I know that I alone cannot change the world's circumstances, and I alone cannot change the course of government decisions regarding policies that affect people one way or the other. But I know that question can gnaw at one's very core. So what does one do?

Well for me, the first thing is to not act out of guilt or to allow oneself to become paralyzed or depressed by the guilt. To come to the understanding that that we can make a difference with the help of God, is the first step. Spreading God's love to each and every person we meet each and every day, one day at a time, even if it is only a smile and a graceful hello and to say that God loves you is to make that difference each and every day.

This journey is hard and thankfully we are not alone, we have each other. When we gather in bible studies, small groups, and prayer meetings I gain strength and perspective from the experiences of others. These insights help me to piece together a picture of what life looks like one person at a time, and it does form a picture of life, of a life God calls us into, the Body of Christ which is The Church.

It is through the church that my life was and is formed, and how I have come to appreciate life itself and the gifts I have received and the gifts I have to give to others for others.

So look back, and look ahead, and look around we are surrounded by God's Beautiful Baptised People and together we have each other's back, and God is always with us!

Life

2010-07-31T23:03:00.001-04:00

We Are The Church

This week I reached what I refer to as the "double nickels", age 55. Wow, what a journey. Today I find myself surrounded by blessings. My wife, my children, soon to be Grandchild and of course all of my dogs and grand-dogs! During this week I did reflect on the journey, and man 55 years is a really long time, but it seems as if it went by in a flash! I do think about passing moments now, and time. Time being together, time spent sharing stories, time spent listening. I want to spend more time listening to the stories of my family and my brothers and sisters in Christ. The words of those stories are like bread - filling and satisfying. They give me strength and courage. This life is not all that complicated when we keep our eyes on Jesus and listen to each other and share God's Peace and Love. For me, I pray to grow in the ability to listen, and sit in the moment and let the love of God expressed through my neighbors and family wash over me. Nothing can take that away. God has blessed, is blessing and promises blessings yet to be seen.

Pray with me for all of creation and those in need.

Peace Be With You.

Amen

Jesus Wants Us To Be Hungry

2010-07-22T21:48:00.007-04:00

Great Scott! Can this be true, Jesus wants us to be hungry! Don't believe it, read it for yourself. This is from John 6:53-58,

"Only insofar as you eat and drink flesh and blood, the flesh and blood of the Son of Man, do you have life within you. The one who brings a hearty appetite to this eating and drinking has eternal life and will be fit and ready for the Final Day. This is the Bread from heaven. Your ancestors ate bread and later died. Whoever eats this Bread will live always."

No kidding - Jesus calls us into community, the gathered people of God to feast together as the Children of God and He wants us starving for REAL FOOD! I am thinking this has very little to do with whether we had wheaties or bagles for breakfast. For me, this means being totally aware of my sinfulness, and my total dependance on God and you know what I bet we each have a sliding scale for how hungry we are when we come into church and walk towards the table when the Pastor beckons to receive the bread and wine.

Just think of how hungry we are when we look at our checkbook and say ouch, no tithe check this week, bank account is overdrawn - no money - literally. But it got that way somehow, either over spending or poor, careless budgeting. Maybe even some extravagent spending. No matter, those are the things that Jesus is talking about, if we are doing those things we are hungry, we are emptied out by the world of all that we have, we have given it away, squandered it in some cases. I know many of our expenses - time, talent, treasure go to worthy causes like our family. But just focus for a moment on the "being hungry" part.

So, I have emptied my checking account, gave up all of my time for things that have nothing to do with being a disciple. So does that mean I am hungry, am I going to starve to death. Well, if I keep spending the way I am, I could certainly become bankrupt and I could find myself in quite a quandry.

So what do I do - where do we go from here. Jesus says it very simply, "come to me with hearty appetite to this eating and drinking and receive eternal life and be fit and ready for the Final Day." The Final Day, so we do not know when that is, and why do we want to take any chances on just when that might be, tonight, tommorrow, the day after...Does not matter, He is calling us to the table NOW, to feed us with an eternal feast! This is a life journey, we don't get it right all at once, it takes time, time to become aware, time to understand, time to grow, time to be, and time to become, and time to share. Life long process of coming to the table and feast on the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ among God's Wet, Wonderful, Working Pilgrims! We have each other, let us draw closer together and make every day we are together at Pilgrim Lutheran Church our growing family reunion with the greatest feast of all time served in plentiful amounts for all who come and who come with a hearty appetite.

Amen!

life and death

2010-02-28T11:29:00.001-05:00

I hear a lot these days about the “Rapture” and how God will take his “elect” to heaven while the earth goes through a “time of trial”. I am sure that this concept is taken from 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17 which says as translated in The Message,

And then this: We can tell you with complete confidence—we have the Master's word on it—that when the Master comes again to get us, those of us who are still alive will not get a jump on the dead and leave them behind. In actual fact, they'll be ahead of us.

Master himself will give the command. Archangel thunder! God's trumpet blast! He'll come down from heaven and the dead in Christ will rise—they'll go first. Then the rest of us who are still alive at the time will be caught up with them into the clouds to meet the Master.

Oh, we'll be walking on air! And then there will be one huge family reunion with the Master. So reassure one another with these words.

So, what does all this mean for a loving, gracious, merciful God. From the very beginning of time as recorded in the scriptures, those that we have, we understand our God to be a loving, and continuously creating God who keeps his/her promises. God created, is creating and will continue to create. So to me the “Rapture” is in direct conflict with that theological view of the God I know. The text as translated in “The Message” reveals to me the “dead in Christ” will rise first to meet Jesus as he returns to reconcile the world to God – God’s desire in the first place to have a creation filled with his love and with his children who love him. Christ came to the cross to effect the way that reconciliation will occur.

There is no two stage process, God is God, his/her promises are clear and we are given the gift of time to reconcile with each other through the love of Christ. To me that mission is of paramount importance and we should use what time we have to reach out to those nearest us, to those we encounter and can encounter on a daily basis and share the love of Christ that we know so that others might come to understand what we understand and experience as the Baptized Children of God in this world.

May God guide and protect us and enable us to reconcile with each other while there is still time to experience the joy of sharing the Peace of Christ!

holy mystery

2010-02-26T19:32:00.001-05:00

In Luke Chapter 7 Jesus approaches the gates of the village of Nain and there encounters a funeral procession. Jesus moved in his spirit touched the coffin and raised the young man from the dead. The writer records the crowds reaction;

“They all realized they were in a place of holy mystery, that God was at work among them. They were quietly worshipful—and then noisily grateful, calling out among themselves, "God is back, looking to the needs of his people!" The news of Jesus spread all through the country.”

This is no doubt a remarkable event in the lives of these villagers. They fell silent, quiet, still as they sensed something mysterious and holy. They sensed the real presence of God among them. Now, I have not experienced something as dramatic as what happened at the gates of Nain, but I can tell you I have experienced holy spaces.

Those times when things grow still and I sense a comforting silence. Especially when things are not going to well for me. I have learned to pay attention to these mysterious moments of silence for in those moments I believe God has drawn me near, to comfort and reassure me of his love and nearness.

It is in those moments that I gain insight into who God is in my life and I gain clarity into how I am to live in this world. What I have not done is respond the way the people of Nain did in response to God’s work among them. They proclaimed God is back looking to the needs of his people and the news of Jesus spread all through the country.

Just think for a moment if we got as excited about what God is doing and promises yet to do in each of lives as did the people of Nain what would be the result? With the communications tools at our disposal we could electrify the world with the Good News of Jesus Christ. So, I vote that we get fired up, and make some noise for Jesus and help to spread his name all through the country!

the road not taken

2010-02-22T16:11:00.001-05:00

A favorite poem came to my attention recently via a facebook survey that challenges one to find out what poem he or she is most like. So I took the survey and what appears is a poem the lingers lovingly in my heart. And it reminds me so much of how God has guided me all during my life and though the road has taken me through tragedy and pain, I have experienced love, joy and peace along the same way. So I share this poem with you this Lent as my gift to you to ponder your choices as our Lenten journey in 2010 continues.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Life is filled with choices. At times we are confronted with choices. These choices include where one chooses to go to college, what major to study, what career to pursue, who to date, live with, or to marry. Choices that we make with, as Frost’s describes, the best visibly with have which is limited.

So it is and has been with my life. Looking back is a 20/20 clear view of the road traveled, yet that hindsight does not afford me a view of what would have happened had I made a different choice, traveled a different road. Where I stand today I am blessed beyond all measure; a wonderful women who loves me more than I deserve, a compassionate, brilliant loving son and a precious, talented, precious, and beautiful daughter both pursuing their hearts desire in vocation and in life. Oh my, I could not have planned a better place to arrive in my life, yet I had very little to do with it.

You see, I do believe so much in a loving and merciful God who has granted me grace, kindness and my heart’s desire beyond all possible measure. Has the road I have traveled been easy, no far from it. Yet at the end of each day, I draw breath into my body and sigh with great joy that I am loved by my family, my friends and my God!

Do I regret the road I chose, not for a minute for I believe that as I stood at the place where TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, I took the one less traveled by and that has made all the difference for I travel that road with my God!

where are you

2010-02-20T15:05:00.001-05:00

Ever wonder where God is when the news displays in real time the horrors in the world?

“CNN Breaking news, live from Tel Aviv, a suicide bomber entered a local restaurant and detonated the device killing himself and 100 people in and around the restaurant.”

“We are live from Austin Texas where an irate citizen has flown his private plane into the IRS building downtown killing at least 2 people".

“We are receiving reports from Port Au Prince that the death toll may exceed 100,000.”

We hear, see and read these stories on our way to church on Sunday morning. There in the comfortable confines of a multi-million dollar state of the art church, with a big screen and LCD projector we hear how much Jesus love us, how God will protect us.
So there we sit with the thought of thousands of people trapped beneath piles of rubble in Haiti and we move about the sanctuary sharing the peace smiling and hugging each other like all is well. Then we eat bread and drink wine, sing happy songs while hundreds lay dying, never to be found alive, and then go home to a family dinner and eat our fill and nap or watch NBA on big screen TVs.

There it is out in the open my angst, my anger and my questions about how a loving, merciful God allows such horrific things to happen to the people we call the children of God. What parent will allow their children to die right before their very eyes – yet God does? I know that seminary professors always tell their students to look for “Where God Is In All of This” otherwise known as WIGAT. That attitude seems such a heresy to me when said in conscious awareness of suffering and the dying in the world today.

So, where is God in all of this suffering, and death?

The truth is I do not know. Yet we attend classes on discipleship, we have fancy logos that portray our VALUES, but what is done in response to the teaching? Not much it seems. I read the words, I hear the sermons, I hear the songs, and I do appreciate the encouragement of “Christian” friends, then I see the hypocrisy, the discrimination, the hatred, the greed, the lust!

So I ask again, where is God in all of THAT?

Well again, I do not know or rather I do not know what to say. The pain I feel for losses in my life tempts me to answer I don’t know, part of me wants to believe, and yet there is that part of me that knows the hardships I have lived and those hurts are there and they are real.

There are the missed opportunities, and there are the choices I made…many I regret and will regret forever. That part of me does not want to believe because it won’t change anything that has happened or make the pain go away. Protecting myself from broken promises is a reaction to things that have happened, betrayal, mistreatment, and abuse. It is hard to put total faith in something or someone when you have known the kinds of loss I know, the betrayals and the abuse I have experienced.

So there is this great struggle within me, pulling in both directions. What is a person to do, how to reconcile the reality of life’s experiences with the so called “Good News”.

Again, I cannot give you a simple answer. Life is not a simple 1+1x(2+2)=X formula. It is filled with variation, constant unexpected variation, we are human we make choices, nature exists and things happen, and sometimes there just is no explanation or justification. I get that, we are human, and we make mistakes, bad choices and yes terrible horrific actions result because we are human and broken but some of us are more broken than the rest.

When my mother shot herself in 2003, I had just returned from the desert, and did not get to see her, yet I was told she knew I was home safe. Was God with her? Was God with my brother the moment he received the tragic, horrific, unthinkable news?

Again I do not know how to answer that question, I am being as honest as I know how because this tragic event happened to ME. I do not know where God was or is for that matter. People came and expressed their love, shared my sadness. This all happened during Holy Week and the funeral was on Good Saturday. The in-between day of Holy Week and Easter, between burial and resurrection. Odd, is it not, that my mother chose Holy Week, Maundy Thursday to be exact to take her life.
So where was God in all of THAT?

The ramifications upon my family are still impacting my wife, my brother, my son, my daughter and me. Where is God in all of this, I do not know what to say. Is God present in the love being shared by my friends, some of whom are not “Christian” so can they actually share God’s love? I do not know what to say to that either.

In case you haven’t noticed, this is the great conundrum in my life; an unexplained, open space that must be traversed at some point, I hope before I die. And I am not even sure what I am looking for or expect to find.

I am open to insights and or your exegesis of my situation and holy scripture. No doubt I will continue this journey and to reflect what I am asking, “Where Is God In All of This”.

Also in the totality of my 55 years on this earth there are some very specific instances I can point to that could have resulted in my certain death. One that is burned into my mind is a car accident on a rain slick country road. That accident resulted in dozens of stitches in my neck, one slice was very near the jugular.

The car was totaled, roof crushed to the consoles, and I was not wearing a seat belt and the power pole was clipped 6 feet above the ground, so my Pinto was airborne at the time it struck the pole. That particular accident was nearly 36 years ago. Then there was the time I was racing, alone, on a long dark country road, and forgot about the left and right only, so I went off the end of that road about 100 yards into a freshly plowed field. So, you could say God spared me because he had a plan for me.

Well, somehow that does not wash with me, because on that same night there were hundreds of accidents around the country, so did God spared me and not someone else? Some how that does not work for me.
So, where is God in all of this?

I go back to the scriptures, particularly, Jesus. He moved throughout the region preaching, teaching and healing all along his path. Now, I am certain there was suffering and death in other locations at the same time Jesus was healing the hemorrhagic woman, or the demon possessed boy, or the leper, or the crippled man, or the blind men. At the same time, Jesus was teaching his disciples to do likewise, to preach, teach and to heal in the community. He also made the same case to all who would listen.

Presenting a model of conduct where if each person would take the time and effort to care for and encourage another, including the stranger and yes even an enemy the same miracles he performed would result.

From these simple and generalized examples of Christ in and with the people of his time, I can see the work of God in and through his people. Like those who came and expressed love and concern for me and my family during the period following my mother’s suicide.There was abundant care, love and genuine concern for our well being. So, in and through those actions, I can see from these acts of kindness something larger than you or me and that is love, an expression of a feeling and an interest in the well being of another.

Most of the time, these expressions usually occur during dying and death.You have heard it said," seems we only get together at funerals". It is so because of the clutter in our living of our lives, which consumes us take all of our time and resources leaving nothing to share as Jesus did and as he taught.

So here again is that lingering question, “Where is God in All of This?"

leftovers

2010-02-15T07:56:00.001-05:00

“When the people had eaten their fill, he said to his disciples, "Gather the leftovers so nothing is wasted." They went to work and filled twelve large baskets with leftovers from the five barley loaves.”

Ever been told by spouse, now you have had enough, gotta watch your weight, or no – you cannot have another piece of bread, you don’t need it! Well, it seems Jesus was not of that school of thought. For the scriture says when all had eaten THEIR FILL. Now that is my kind of story.

Plenty for everyone, and more if you want. So no one went hungry on this day. Jesus assured a bounty of bread and fish for all gathered, no matter how many. And still there was plenty left over, the left-overs were as good as the main course. How about that. Our God makes sure we are filled up. He loves us that much and more. I cannot think of a better way to start the morning than with a reminder of how my God desires that I not go hungry, not even for a moment.

And I guess you have figured out by now that I am not talking about bread and fish literally, I am talking about his love from the ridicule from the soldiers, from the whips that ripped his back apart, from the persecution of Pilot, to the suffering on the cross, to his death, to his resurrection from the dead, all that love and still more to come! Thanks be to God for this wonderfully new morning. God is Good All The Time God Is Good All The Time! Amen.

worldly blind eye

2010-02-06T22:08:00.003-05:00

Each morning I awaken to start my day, shower, medicine, coffee, gather my papers and off to work I go no stops along the way save for gas now and then. I do not notice much along the way, my thoughts on the planned events of my day. I arrive at work, fulfill my responsibilities and then drive home stopping only for the occasional items PK calls for me to get from the store.

I say all this to illustrate how easy it is fall into bland routines and become blind to the world in our peripheral vision. Going fast is the modern trait of our society; cell phones, pda’s, I-phones, IPODS, Netbooks, and the list goes on. We are connected, and wired to work and to home, to facebook and twitter. If we are not careful we may slam into a bridge abutment if we are not careful and look where we are going, as my Grandma Cope would say. But this is not the blindness I want to talk about. William Wadsworth wrote “The World Is Too Much With Us”, decrying the materialist world and our pursuit of materialism. We become all consumed with the latest whatever and neglect the things of importance. As Wordsworth wrote;

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
little we see in Nature that is ours;
we have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!

In Jerusalem, Jesus encountered a man who had been an invalid there for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him stretched out by the pool and knew how long he had been there, he said, "Do you want to get well?" The sick man said, "Sir, when the water is stirred, I don't have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in." Jesus heals the man and the man goes on his way, we do not hear of him again. What is intriguing is that Jesus does not speak about those who were line jumping and not offering aid to the invalid man, they just brushed by going about their business, taking care of their needs. The world was too much with them, that had given their hearts away! Had their hearts been open and their pace a bit slower… Well that is the question for me, for us. Are we willing to slow down, to look around, and see the needs around us and be the people of God to the world.

time will tell...

2010-01-10T21:10:00.013-05:00

While growing up in a small rural community, a very long time ago, I recall asking my Grandma about whether something I had done or decided was ok. She had an interesting answer that I did not fully appreciate at the time. She would say to me, "time will tell". Time will tell. What does that mean? Well my Grandma was a wise, compassionate and understanding lady. You would think a simple yes or no would suffice. But for Grandma she believed that would let me off the hook. So for her it was more important for me to learn about the impact of my choices through my own experience and discernment rather than the opinion or judgement of someone else. The lesson for me was that decisions and actions have ramifications far beyond the immediate circumstance, often well into the future..... that is most certainly a fact!

Grandma was devout in her faith, a disciple in every respect. Her faith was deep and abiding. She walked to and from church even as she moved on in age until her arthritis kept her homebound. Despite her pain, I never recall a single instance of her voicing defeat in the face of her pain and disability. Time will tell.

She always encouraged me to be strong, to not give up, to trust God. Time will tell. Grandma was right, over time life's experience will reveal to us alot about who we are and where we are in regards to right living and if we have love for others.

When my beloved Grandma left us my world closed in and my grief was overwhelming. I could not bear the thought of her not being there for me. She cared for me when I was sick, and broken. My life at that age was a wreck. What would I do, how would I go on, "Time will Tell".

Today I can still hear her sweet, soft, quiet voice encouraging me. A sweet memory and I miss her. I want her to know that I turned out alright and that God has brought me to a place in life that I on my own could not have accomplished but for her love - her encouragement and her memory. "Time will tell, time will tell".

Grandma, I turned out all right, I have a beautiful wife, and you have two wonderful great-grandchildren, they are beautiful and living full and blessed lives. Thank you Grandma, you did good! Thanks Be To God!!!

living again...

2010-01-01T13:30:00.014-05:00

Wow, another year has come, and we enter a new decade. 2010, whoa. This morning found me reflecting back to May 1973. That’s the month and year I graduated from high school. We were a rebellious, hippie like generation, the only thing we were thinking about was our trip to the beach, and we were leaving right after graduation. The future, we didn't think beyond the beach and the party! We just lived out each moment fully until it was all gone! William Arthur Ward, dedicated scholar, author, editor, pastor and teacher, captures the essence of how we approached life in those days…

“Another fresh new year is here . . .
Another year to live!
To banish worry, doubt, and fear,
To love and laugh and give!

Yet, today here we are! Some of us from that class made it, and some of us did not, God have mercy. Nevertheless, we are here. Now that I am a mature 55 something, I would think I am smarter, sharper, and savvier and that I am looking to the future and planning how I might use the time ahead to make a difference. A major difference between 1973 and today in 2010, is I had no worries then, today we are engaged in warfare in multiple countries, nearly $3.00 per gallon gasoline, the threat of terrorism is real and close, the economy is in turmoil and many are out of work and struggling to eat and maintain shelter. We all have those worries now more than ever. The light hearted, live for today exuberance was crushed by the weight of life, of caring for ourselves, our children and in some cases parents and grandparents. Where did all the good times go?

The truth is the good times didn’t GO anywhere our attitude or our outlook towards life shifted as we grew older and we became “responsible adults”. Meaning married, with a mortgage and so on and so forth. So our focus became providing, maintaining, and gathering more…And as the world changed, and as our lives changed due to events either under our control or beyond our control, fear and or apathy entered our lives. So far from the free spirited days, so far from living in the moment, so far from drawing all of the goodness from every experience, so far from communal living and experiences. Hold on here, what actually changed. Really nothing. In 1973 there was still conflict in Vietnam, there was a gas crisis, and we had a poor economy. I think that the only thing that has changed is inside of each of us, the way we see ourselves, which is how others see us. I know I am that way, caught up in the day to day business going fast, so fast sometimes that I lose a sense of who I am, and then I do not have time for others. That is so far from where we started, not what we envisioned for ourselves I'd say.

We can rekindle that youthful exuberance. So where do we start, how can we move from worrying to living fully… For me there are two scriptures that inspire me. These verses in their simplicity wisk me back to that delightful day in 1973 – where I lived and loved in the moment. The writers of Matthew and John explicitly point to Jesus’ love of us and how to live life; John 14:1“…Do not let your hearts be troubled…” and Matthew 28:20 “…I am with you always…” Jesus in plain simple easy to understand language says in essence I am here and it is going to be alright! Go and enjoy this life my father has given you! Now how cool is that! Jesus, in my view, tells us to live life, to enjoy life, to trust in him and to not worry but to live in and through the moment, drawing every single ounce of precious life from each moment and sharing it communally each and every day. Just like in our youth, I remember we wandered, wondered, laughed, cried and cared for each other, together, in community.

Today, we are the body of Christ, such that it is, and I think we should jump start its heart, get it breathing and thriving again to do that we must re-connect and get energized. Let’s all graduate from worry and anxiety and travel towards happiness in Christ and the joy that comes from in living together in Christ, for Christ and for each other!

Finally, the words of William Ward mark the path forward...

We have the opportunity once more to right some wrongs,
to pray for peace,
to plant a tree, and sing more joyful songs!

something's happening here...

2009-12-24T10:32:00.015-05:00

Oh to have been a shepherd in the field near Bethlehem long ago. I envy at their being chosen to be the first to receive the Good News. And so, I have often wondered why we don’t have more shepherd displays with lights and such. It just seems to me that would be appropriate. Anyway, I identify with the shepherds quietly tending their sheep, dozing off, only to startle awake at the bleat of a sheep, or some other nearby sound, then dozing back off to sleep. Shepherds understand stillness and peace, as anyone would who has spent time at night with nothing but the stars above and the fragrant grass beneath. There is just something unnique about the very late hours of the night when everything living is asleep and the only sound heard is one's own heartbeat. On this particular evening, I believe the silence was all the more heavy and expectant. And I believe every animal was somehow cosmically aware of the coming miracle at the manger.

For a shepherd silence is normal, but on this night I believe they noticed a deepening silence, and an enveloping sense of peace more than usual. I can only imagine how their hearts must have raced into their throats at the sudden burst of brilliance all around them. To go from a dreamy sleepy dozing in warm cozy blankets, around a small fire, to consumed in vivid, radiant light must have paralyzed them. I can think of no comparable experience that would send so much adrenalin surging throughout one's being! Hello!!! I would imagine the shepherds were unable to speak, let alone breath. An then the angel proclaiming good news to these the shepherds, and I can't imagine them doing anything else otherthan running to find out what is going on!!!! Awesome!

So tonight, I choose to remember the shepherd; wandering, wondering and laughing as God prepared his greatest work for us all. I choose to dream of how they felt at that first burst of light, of how their hearts raced, and at their wonder of the words, and what this all might mean for them and for their future. I choose to wonder about what they must have talked about on their way to the manger, to see this thing about which the angel spoke. I wish I could make that same journey, on that same night. So tonight, I will ponder these things in my heart. And as my wife and I journey to worship at 11:00pm we will experience the fullness of the silence, and we will talk about the things of which the angel spoke as we make our way to the manger to worship the Christ Child!

Yes, tonight, we are shepherds!

a beautiful thing...

2009-12-20T20:15:00.012-05:00

Mother Teresa in her humble life of service talked about the power of simple acts. She once said that, “every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.” As I read that quote I thought about an earlier blog in which I shared my experience with the cashier at Lowes and how she inspired me with a smile and a loving reminder to keep smiling!

As my work week progressed, I reflected on the whole experience, and why it matters. In the past, this kind of reflection evokes memories that make me grimace, because those are actions I wish I could forget…times when I was too busy, too angry, too distracted, too inside myself to smile, or even acknowledge others. My ability and my courage to resist those paralyzing and discouraging thoughts was increased and strengthened by the dear lady in Lowes. Her words, “keep smiling” inspires to me to make a difference through simple acts. I am no longer a prisoner to the guilt of my past unkind acts.

I understand more about what is important in this brief life. A scripture that I learned as a child comes to mind, “do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It is more than words and deeds; it is who I am, how I see myself which is what others experience. Each day I strive to reflect the love shared with me, a beautiful thing, and I want to share it.

smiling blessings...

2009-12-17T22:40:00.005-05:00

Scott R. Adams, creator of the Dilbert Cartoon Strip once wrote on kindness - “Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” How right he is as evidenced by a random encounter I had this afternoon. On my way home from work I stopped by Lowes to pick up a tube of caulk for the bathroom. With a tube of white caulk in hand I approached the check-out counter - the cashier looked at me with a big smile and greeted me and asked how my day had been and how I was doing. Then she leaned forward and whispered to me, "keep smiling"! I guess I had a smile on my face, I was not conscious of my smiling countenance but she noticed and she really made my day.

As I have written recently, blessing are all around us, if we only look for them and if we are still and quiet and open to God working in and through us and those around us. For me, not too very long ago, I would have been in such a hurry, and preoccupied with my busy-ness, that I would not have been smiling, I would have been grumpy, and would have missed it all. Now, I am a work in progress, and I pray to be conscious of God's work in and around me each and every day! God is good all the time, all the time God is good! I thank God for the dear lady at Lowes - she was a blessing and an encourager to me!

inner peace...

2009-12-14T21:40:00.012-05:00

We hear a lot these days about seeking and finding inner peace. Some of us depend on various drugs that effect mood, blood pressure, and so on. Others rely upon yoga, meditation, long distance running, weight lifting or other forms of escape and relaxation. These avenues of escaping into ourselves are not bad or wrong in fact they are quite good for us. These approaches are designed to impact the physical aspects of our lives - the quality of our physical being. And we should explore these, but within a healthy framework. For me that framework is discovering who I am as a child of God and what it means to be a member of the christian community. Moreover, working through my own personal baggage left over from my teen and early adult years is challenging and vital to my family. I am making progress, some days are better than others, and some just suck, that is when I lapse into the badness.

For me though, it is only through an ever increasing understanding of who I am, whose I am, who God is, and what his promises hold for me that gives me hope, strength and encouragement to get through the bad days and to live fully in the good ones. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed when I start thinking about things, plans and possiblities beyond the right now. Coming to understand the value, the fullness of living "in the moment" of "experiencing" the fullness of the present is a learned behavior. A learned behavior that runs counter to every norm, every expectation the world has inculcated in each of us. Yet, it is that awareness of self and God that holds the essence of our physical, emotional, and spiritual well being.

I will continue to pursue learning to experience the fullness of the present, to wait, to listen, to understand - to become comfortable with the stillness, with the silence, and yes even with the darkness. It is here in the darkness where I will find my answers and it is here in this darkness that I will experience the fullness of God and and it is in this journey through the darkness that I will grow into the father, husband, and friend God desires me to become for my family and for me... Just think about that....

love is...

2009-12-13T14:05:00.009-05:00

arriving home after a long day of training and finding, on the stove, a steaming pot filled with homemade chicken and dumplings! I was surprised and humbled. On the spur of the moment, after a long day of wall repairs and painting, my sweet took the time to roll out the best dang dumplings I have ever tasted. Now that my friend is love with a capital L! It was a gift, and it was just given on the spur of the moment. It is times like these, the unexpected blessings, the unexpected free gifts that arrive at just the right time reminding us of the love given to us. And, when we extend that love to each other, freely and unexpectedly, we are truly experiencing the Kingdom of God. Thanks be to God that my spouse loves me in special, unexpected and extraordinary ways, such as a chicken and dumpling dinner! I might add, that there were no left overs!

giving...

2009-12-11T21:46:00.004-05:00

" God gives us something we can then give away, which grows into full-formed lives, robust in God, wealthy in every way, so that we can be generous in every way, producing with us great praise to God " (2 Corinthians 9:11)

Mother Teresa, a lady of extraordinary yet simple grace once said, "Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time, and always start with the person nearest you." Mother Teresa's example, so simple, so humble, yet we see her actions as somehow beyond our capabilities - we think we have to be some kind of saint to be able to help those in need. Well our God has blessed, equipped and empowered each of us to engage our world in a most direct and powerful way. I have learned this lesson recently, discovering the power of humility - of helping others become successful - of not being concerned with the credit or the blame but with the building up and encouraging of my neighbor - the person nearest me. That kind of action is powerful, and contagious - others notice and are inspired by that kind of action. I know, I have first hand experience this very day. The act need not be grand or complicated or anything of the sort other than listening, understanding and helping - helping based on understanding of the needs of the other person. When I practiced being quiet, and attentive, and seeking to understand - I have received the most powerful blessing one can receive.

That blessing is a sense of peace and calm that I have never before known. You may have thought I was going to describe some kind of award, or congratulations or public acclaim. No. The blessing I am describing is gradual and all encompassing. Each day I find that I am less likely to get "worked up" in traffic, or impatient in long check-out lines.

Quite the contrary, I find that I am motivated to be encouraging, to be enabling, to be helping. I think that is what the writer is describing because when we are praising God, we are indeed wealthy in every way! Just think about that...

time.....

2009-12-06T14:55:00.012-05:00

According to Maya Angelou, autobiographer and poet, “time itself is an individual gift. It is wise to cherish it carefully and give it away generously”. Time is indeed a free gift - a free gift from God. And I too believe that we should cherish this gift and use it for God, for others. However, I have not always practiced that philosophy. I am over 54 years of age, and as I reflect on those years, I cannot tell you with any clarity if my use of those moments, minutes, hours or days added value, or influenced lives for God or not. It is all a blur… But I do know God loves me, I have faith that he forgives me my sins, and that the gift of time and his grace is evident in my having the “time” to write this blog.

As I think about it, I can and should take every moment to consider someone else whether it is in the checkout line at the local grocery, or just smiling as I walk down the street. We all can impact lives for the Kingdom of God – We just have to try.

I pray that God will help and guide me to use the precious moments he has gifted to me meaningfully each and every day. To give someone a smile and a kind word seems such a small thing, if given in faith, with prayer recognizing that with God nothing is impossible. Just think about that.

that's life...

2009-11-30T17:35:00.023-05:00

While watching re-runs this holiday weekend, I heard an old Frank Sinatra tune, "That's Life". The song has no particular history or interesting back story. It is just a song...But given my state of mind at the time, it just set me to thinking as some people say. Actually it is the second verse that serves as inspiration for today's blog.

" cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around"

I found myself worrying more and more about the impact of my life, my ability to help my family as well as the traditional worries of not enough money, aging parents, home repairs, debt and our own illnesses and physical impairments...in otherwords just not feeling all that peachy...The bottom line upfront is that life is just plain hard and it is not fair. The world just keeps on spinning..... And well, I guess that is just that way it is ... I don't like it, but hearing Sinatra on this this particular verse "...'cause this fine ol' world it keeps spinning around..." is a stark reminder that the world is going to do what the world is going to do...with or without me...

So I thought well if that is the case, then I should just take time-out to just "be" and let everything else take care of itself. I will deal with tomorrow when it gets here...right now I don't feel so good and want to sit in it for a while....I am not going to pull myself up by my boot straps, chin up and all that...because I don't have to...

I think it is perfectly ok to just stay in this moment for now...not forever...I do not know what is coming next...none of us do...so why should I pretend...In this moment I realize what matters is that God loves me just the way I am...and the love of my family is warm and comforting...I will be ok, regardless of this fine ol' world's spinning around.

I am working very hard to learn to live in the present moment, to recognize God's work in and around me, in and through those near me. In those moments, I do see God working, and I feel His presence among those I meet along the way...one step and one day at a time...

let it be...

2009-11-29T21:32:00.019-05:00

The writer of Luke relates Mary's encounter with the angel Gabriel and her response to the angel found in verses 36-38 from The Message:

I'm the Lord's maid, ready to serve.
Let it be with me just as you say.

Then the angel left her.

During the sermon this morning, I saw the words "Let It Be" emblazoned on the screen high overhead, and I thought of the McCartney song from 1970, "Let It Be". Although according to most published accounts Paul McCartney attributes the inspiration for this song to a dream about his mother, and not the Blessed Lady. Nevertheless, I could not resist talking about a parallel with this song and today's Luken text;

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

And in my hour of darkness

She is standing right in front of me

Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Mary's faith enabled her to enter the unknown to follow God's plan entrusted to her. She ventured forth with only her faith, her husband to be Joseph and God. Whether or not Paul was writing about the Blessed Virgin or his mother does not matter, these few words of faith are encouraging for us today as we face uncertain times.

The amazing truth is that Mary, the Mother of God IS there, standing right in front of us, able to intercede for us with Her Son, God's Son! Thanks Be To God!

Listen to the song again, and think about this text from Luke and the Blessed Virgin as you enter this Advent Season! I pray it will encourage you as it has encouraged me on this holy day! May the Peace of Christ Be With You Always!. Amen...

and now quiet...

2009-11-27T20:27:00.006-05:00

Well now, that was a day! It is all quiet now, all the hubbub, conversation, barking dogs, clanging pots and pans, clinking glasses, children playing, belly laughs and of course football on TV...all are now recent and blessed memories. And oh what wonderful memories... The food, oh the food, what can I say....very little left if that is any indication of just how good it was.

Times like these are so very precious, and I savored every sound, word, image, smell and taste letting each soak into my very being. These are good times. Thanks be to God!!!

today...

2009-11-27T08:43:00.010-05:00

Well, our thanksgiving friday has arrived, the turkey is in the oven, and all is in order. The bathroom is done, my toilet installation was an adventure with a happy ending...oh, did I mention it was an adventure.....

Now we wait. At 11:00am or so our family will begin to arrive and the activities in our home will increase. I love it....The sounds, the conversation, the dogs going to and fro...in and out...by the way did I mention that there will be a total of 5 dogs, 2 small children and a whole bunch of adults...We will feast on perfectly roasted turkey, dressing, sweet potatoes, green beans, mac and cheese, pies and cakes......I so look forward to this time together.

No worries about tomorrow, we will cherish this time and not allow any intrusion upon our celebration of God's blessings. We may not have tomorrow, so tomorrow can wait...The writer of James describes life poignantly and yet with a sense of urgency to live it together fully and abundantly cherishing every moment as a gift from God... to be shared ...

" ...we are here briefly then gone..."

Today is all that matters and I thank God for this precious gift He has given...today!

charlie brown thanksgiving...

2009-11-26T20:43:00.000-05:00

thanks...

2009-11-25T21:06:00.001-05:00

wonders of fall...

2009-11-25T08:14:00.004-05:00

thinking about . . .

2009-11-23T22:18:00.003-05:00

of wine, song and laughter...

2009-11-21T21:01:00.037-05:00

Gathered around a bountiful feast of seafood, bread, wine, beer and music I experienced a closeness, and welcoming filled with God's grace, love and peace. We were invited to a gathering on this evening by folks we met recently while visiting a new church. We drank, we ate, we talked, we sang, we laughed and we prayed. I can't put it all into words, but I found something I have longed for and searched for over these past months.  We hoped to find a community who love God and each other, without pretense or conditions . . . just ordinary people, living ordinary lives doing extraordinary things.

We were welcomed into this community unconditionally and so it is not surprising to me that this community of people and their church is growing.   Sharing common values, and an infectious enthusiasm for Jesus, these people are very different, they are accepting and understand what it means to be the Body of Christ. There is no false piety here! With a beer in one hand, and making the sign of the cross with the other, we sang, we prayed and we celebrated! Here in the midst of this faithful community, I discovered an openness and sense of purpose among these disciples unlike any other. Their Christ-like love emanates from their warm, welcoming, and outstreatched arms that on this same night embraced a same sex couple! Thanks be to God for His Mercy, Grace and Peace!

God at work...come see...

2009-11-18T22:17:00.008-05:00

News flash ... God at Work!

And you know what I almost missed it. He was not subtle, He was not quiet, He was not nuanced, God was quite clear and very obvious in His presence in and through the people I encountered during this day. These People in my life today brought uniquely encouraging stories, laughter, excitement, energy and renewal. But I was so engaged in my own personal thoughts and business I almost missed the renewing, revitalizing, and really awesome things God had for me through His chosen messengers! I did stop, and turn aside to attend to what was being shared and what happened next was one of the most awe filled conversations with someone I would likely never meet in my day to day world or meet ever again for that matter. This person shared deeply personal, encouraging, private life experiences in an honest, and thought provoking way. The wisdom I gained forever changed my outlook towards life and people.

I had choices, and could have chosen a different path for today and had I done so, the encounters would not have occured, and I would not know what I missed - God is really cool that way! But thanks be to God I stayed in place, and as a result God, through this very special disciple, revealed His awesome power, grace and mercy.

I am more convinced now than ever that God is working in my life, and in the lives of my family. I don't know yet what that is, but today's lesson for me is keep my eyes and heart wide open. I am like so ready for what's next!

faith and a mustard seed...

2009-11-17T18:03:00.013-05:00

And Jesus replied to his disciples,
"This kind can come out only by prayer."

This scripture came to mind as I was driving home from work today and pondering on what I wrote yesterday. In my lamentation of the evil of racism, and my perceived inability to do anything about it, I had the realization that I was missing the point---missing the essence of our spirituality and that is we can talk to God, and God does listen! In the scripture quoted above, the disciples were lamenting to Jesus that they tried and failed to cast out the demon tormenting the young boy. In effect their lamentation and perceived inability was the same as mine - we both missed the point, missed the opportunity, failed to have faith!

Jesus counsels his disciples that faith in God as small as a mustard seed can move mountains and through that faith, by prayer, such evils, as the horrific demon tormenting that young boy, can be cast out. Jesus gifited us the keys to the kingdom... through faith, through living faith, through constant prayer, through trusting God and each other, we together can cast out this demon named racism forever! Now my friends that is something to ponder....Amen!

we shall overcome ... some day...

2009-11-16T21:41:00.014-05:00

My daughter ran across pictures on the internet depicting violent scenes and other disturbing images. These images shook her. Images of firefighters with firehoses blasting people on the streets and policemen with their attack dogs unleashed on women and children. The two very professions that she recalls from September 11th who sacrificed themselves for others. She asked over and over why are police and firefighters trying to hurt those people.... why are the white people so angry?"

My daughter had no idea that when I grew up there existed whites only water fountains, and whites only restrooms. These things are beyond her comprehension, alien to her very being .... she could not believe that human beings would visit such horrific acts upon other human beings just because of skin color! She had not experienced this ugliness personally until the Sunday following the election of President Obama.

On that Sunday she overheard some older men in the congregation using graphically racist epithets to express their feelings about our new President and his heritage. Those words drove her to tears, for you see this was in church, she was sitting in the Pastor's Office, these men did not know she was there, they were speaking freely. She ran to her Mom and through her tears she cried they are supposed to be Christians, why do they say such hateful things.

This kind of hatred that, not so long ago, led to public lynchings does not just go away on its own accord as evidenced by the conversation my daughter overheard in church! It remains. Individuals have to make life choices and change beliefs and behaviors. Nevertheless, this kind of vile hatred will always exist, and we as Christians know that evil exists and that humans are capable of anything under the sun. We do have hope...and that hope is in the renewing work of God in and through each of us. And so, I look forward to the day our children's children come of age and say "Never Again"!

deja vu all over again...

2009-11-13T23:16:00.052-05:00

A recent John Fogerty song recalls a terrible war - its purpose lost in the blur of politics, chaos, and death. Moreover, the horror, and suffering in the wake of gun shots at Ft. Hood flood my consciousness with painful memories of a turbulent past saturated with hatred, violence and death ... a generation's innocence lost. These words are haunting reminders of our brokeness, our mortality. We are well on our way to losing another generation.

Day by day I hear the voices rising;
Started with a whisper like it did before
Day by day we count the dead and dying;

Today, our christian communities are occupied not with acting to stop the senseless death and crippling of a generation but with barring homosexuals from marriage, from entering our churches and our clergy. This subject is all consuming - town meetings, council meetings, and on and on. I do not know whether to cry or to scream. Young men and young women are dying and we are not moved, we just sit, paralyzed by our prejudices, our ignorance, our fear and our piety while ....

Day after day another Momma's crying,
She's lost her precious child

We have a choice...the same choice the rich young ruler was given by Jesus; "...Then... come, follow me."

why

2009-11-06T11:46:00.015-05:00

On the way to work this morning the talk on the radio was all about the tragedy at Ft. Hood, Texas. One caller to the show talked about how God knew us as we were formed in our mother's womb and how he knows the time, place and way of our death. The caller continued to say that in so knowing, our deaths are part of God’s plan. By extension, she was saying that what happened at Ft. Hood was preordained, that it was God’s plan.

To say that such events are preordained is to deny the gift of free will God gave us at creation. He gave us choice. To chose God or to chose self. That man in Texas who shot all those innocents acted out of his free will, his own personal choices. I get that people are searching to explain what happened and why it happened and to say it is part of God’s plan somehow makes it easier and less horrible – because it is God’s Plan we are somehow spared a less horrifying reality about ourselves...

The truth is we are all capable of what that man in Texas did – we are all capable of horrible crimes – we are just one choice away. That truth we do not like to hear or accept. We have to look in the mirror each morning, and we do not want to see the monster that can exist in us...remember we are all saint and sinner at the same time! There is no escaping that truth.

Now, I most certainly believe in an omniscient and omnipresent God. I believe therefore that God knows all things and certainly could intervene. Yet, as far as we know God did not intervene, or did He? So - - where was God in all that happened? That is a more important question to ponder. God was present in the actions of all the caregivers, the comforters, and the first responders. God was with those who suffered and died. The mysteries of the Holy Spirit and his/her actions I cannot explain, yet I do believe.

I also believe in a loving, caring, forgiving God who weeps with us in horrific times and celebrates with us in times of great joy. Yet, I do acknowledge as scripture says "God's thoughts are not my thoughts".

Yet, it remains that this world’s condition is a consequence of sin a direct result of OUR choices. The question to ask now is, “WHAT WILL WE DO?”

tears tonight

2009-11-05T22:31:00.003-05:00

I mourn this evening over the loss of life at Ft. Hood Texas. Tonight my prayers are with all those who lost loved ones, with the injured and with the frightened. Tonight Lord, I pray for your peace.

blackberries, tackle football and memories

2009-11-05T12:54:00.015-05:00

We were talking today about how pervasive technology is in our lives and the lives of our children and their friends. Cell phones, blackberries, everyone has one - some even more than one. Texting, talking, emailing surfing, tweeting, facebooking and on and on. My daughter sends and receives well over 5,000 text messages a month, yet only consumes a few hundred talk minutes. She is in instant communication with us and dozens of her friends. My wife has several different ring tones set on her blackberry. She has one for email, one for text, and she even has a special tone for facebook updates. She is not a tweeter, yet...

My friend and I reflected on our own childhood and teenage years, and the absence of such technology. For me, since I am a few years over 50 I recall only a rotary telephone and it was a party line at that. Chatting with friends meant going to their home, or yelling across the fence in the back yard….we did a lot of that. News traveled, but not as rapid as today.

I found myself reminiscing with fondness for slower peaceful days, the good days I had. I also had my share of bad days, but nevertheless I am remembering the clear spring and crisp fall days where we gathered in an open field to play football, or baseball and we would play ball until the sun went down and we could no longer see, or our moms were calling us home for dinner. I miss those days so much…..we had so much fun playing ball and hanging out just talking, telling jokes, gossiping on the latest whatever news…..we also did a lot of dreaming, as most teens did, I'm sure, growing up in small rural towns.

Recently, I met an old friend with whom I played football till dark during those years. He asked if I remembered where we played ball, and I said of course, the house was just a block from my old home place. He drove by there the other day and stopped to reflect on all the games we played there and as he stood there, he said the yard was really small, much smaller than he remembered. As it was when we were playing football there those fall days, it was as if it were as large as a any high school or college football field! I agreed with him as I thought about it……Amazing how that happens….Our world seemed large and expansive growing up... those were the days…….and I do miss them so much…

Our life experiences are just a brief moment in time. As James describes it “... a mist that appears for a little while and then gone”, but what remains is the memory, the feelings, and now more than 45 years later, the freshness and fondness of those times come flooding back into my conscious mind...those were good times.

I pray for my daughter and son as they leave their teen years and begin their lives in the world that they and their children may reflect someday as I am reflecting today, and that their remembrances will be as fresh spring flowers - vibrant, fragrant and colorful.

God blesses us all, and healing and renewal are his greatest gifts of grace, if we only let him love us…The LORD is good; His mercy is everlasting. Because it is everlasting, it may be found at the beginning of each new day …"

hamburger theology

2009-11-04T20:30:00.008-05:00

Today was such a good day. I had lunch with a dear friend at the best hamburger joint in the world! What made today special was spiritual conversation and fellowship with a close friend - of course don't forget the burgers and fries!

My friend and I talk each day at work, when we have a moment, about how God is at work in our lives and in the lives of those around us. We agreed a week or so ago to try to go to lunch and use the time to explore how God is at work in our lives and share our stories with each other and enjoy a fantastic hamburger...

Today we took that opportunity. My friend is the Pastor of an Independent Evangelical Church serving mostly an African American Parish. He is a bi-vocational pastor. The church is young and growing and he is a very gifted and motivated prophet and teacher. Today we talked and talked about the wonder and glory of God and His work in and through each of us. We also discussed what we believe God's vision is for us and families - how God is using and may use us for others.

We also talked about how easy it is to become distracted, and influenced by the enemy and the importance of having someone to talk to when times get tough! We both agreed that the moment we shift our focus away from the cross - that is the moment trouble can begin. That led us into a discussion about how similar we are to Peter and how he impulsively jumped from the boat to walk on the water, only to allow his gaze to wander, and well you know the rest of the story. That story we both agreed represents our lives at times of temptation and trouble.

I can't emphasize enough how powerful a relationship like this can be for someone, I know it is that way for me. I have good days and bad days. When my pain is acting up, or when my meds are causing strange reactions in my body I get depressed, and distant and crabby. It never fails that my friend will pop his head into my cubicle and say "let me share with you what God has revealed". And you know, after about 5 minutes my worries and pains are miles away! I pray that you have or will find someone to share God's glory and grace with - it is simply wonderful, also have a homemade hamburger along with the grace! You will be happy you did. Vegetarian or vegan - salad is good too. It is the breaking of bread and the sharing of the Word of God that matters.

God and 7th Grade Grammar...

2009-11-04T08:19:00.016-05:00

Recently, my son and I engaged in a discussion of the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) phenomenon of the 1990’s. He brought to light for me something that I had not thought of regarding all those little bracelets. My son helped me to realize the heresy that the bracelets conveyed. It all boiled down to grammar, 7th grade grammar to be precise. You see, God the Creator, God the Reconciler, God the Sustainer is always the subject of active verbs! WOW! I never thought my 7th grade English class was actually a beginning course in Christian theology! Imagine that! Well here is how it works:

The subject of an active sentence performs the action of the verb: "I throw the ball." ….. “God CREATED heaven and earth…….”

So in the case of “What Would Jesus Do”, WOULD is a modal verb… not the main verb – but an auxiliary verb! In this case, WOULD is actually the past tense of the verb WILL. The "WHAT WOULD" is a question, with a passive verb - - which implies a guess on our part. Now that may be the heresey. According to scripture, God’s promises are ALL active verbs – God CREATED, God IS CREATING, God WILL CREATE all of which are active tense which expresses an action or situation that did, is and will occur - - - God is the subject of ACTIVE VERBS!!

In the case of WWJD, it is not what would Jesus do, it is actually about what WE ARE DOING, and what WE WILL DO because of WHAT Jesus DID, IS DOING, and PROMISES for us! Some refer to this as "Because - Therefore" Theology. Because Jesus lived, died and arose for us; therefore, we are free to LIVE as the people of God.

Why this so early on a Wednesday morning… I wanted to illustrate how easily we/I can wander down a wrong road. This is so simple, yet so very important just remember as my son reminded me, “Our God IS ALWAYS THE SUBJECT OF ACTIVE VERBS!

Green Tea....

2009-11-03T09:03:00.000-05:00

I decided on the way to work this morning to try to eat and live a more healthy lifestyle. So I stopped by the Wal-Mart for instant grits, fiber bars, and Welch’s 100% grape juice. Armed with my new sustenance and my green tea I headed out to work thinking finally I am all set, I can do this! I need to do this....... Well, temptation usually sets in around 11:00 - and my peeps always invite me to lunch.........so I pray the fiber bars and grape juice will come to my rescue......I wonder how that is going to turn out!!! I do not have a very good track record with these sorts of change efforts.......

I also ordered my new physical fitness sweats on-line. They will arrive in about a week or so....Next step is to begin an exercise regimen. I do have a treadmill at home.....my own fitness center......I wonder how that is going to turn out. Pray for me.........

The Answer and the Wind....

2009-11-02T10:20:00.000-05:00

In June 1962, Bob Dylan's song "Blowin In The Wind " was published in Sing Out!, accompanied by his own comments describing the song's vision:

How many years can a mountain exist, Before it's washed to the sea? Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist Before they're allowed to be free? Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head, Pretending he just doesn't see? The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind....

"There ain’t too much I can say about this song except that the answer is blowing in the wind. It ain’t in no book or movie or TV show or discussion group. Man, it’s in the wind—and it’s blowing in the wind. Too many of these hip people are telling me where the answer is but oh I won’t believe that. I still say it’s in the wind and just like a restless piece of paper it’s got to come down some ...But the only trouble is that no one picks up the answer when it comes down so not too many people get to see and know ...and then it flies away I still say that some of the biggest criminals are those that turn their heads away when they see wrong and know it’s wrong. I’m only 21 years old and I know that there’s been too many ...You people over 21, you’re older and smarter......"

Dylan's comments stir in me something that has long been dormant....a sense of indignation at the wrongs we/I continue to accept as the status quo - as unchangeable. I grew up in a small southern town - where there were water fountains for "whites" and water fountains for "coloreds". And many more indignations and crimes we allowed to be committed....... We/I accepted that standard - and we today accept the same status quo - despite what is "blowing in the wind". We know the right thing to do, and we just don't do it, "we are the people over 21, we’re older and smarter' and we see the wrong, we know its wrong and we choose not to act. 1962 to 2009 as the song says how many years can a people exist before they are allowed to be free. How long!

We continue to hate, separate, argue, hurt......One thing that I think Dylan may have been aluding to in his strong comments about the wind.....sound.......words.....turning into the wind....setting our face to the wind.....means for me, accepting the premise of the question, acknowledging that something is amiss....Knowledge is power, words are the vehicle by which we transmit, exchange, pass on that knowlege.

The question remains will we turn to face the wind, will we admit our mistakes, will we accept and act, will we pass on wisdom and love.......or...... Our time here on this earth is uncertain and finite. So how long will we wait. We are the imprisoned, and we possess the key.......How long.......

And The Question Is......

2009-11-01T18:50:00.000-05:00

Ok, so when someone asks,

" where is God in all of this ",

one might reasonably come to the conclusion that something is, has or is about to happen. Why else would this question be on the table. Do we ask this question because we do not know where God is? Or do we ask this question because we think God is lost? Why do we ask this question? God does not need our help. God does not depend upon human kind for anything! We are His/Her creation! We are dependent upon God for everything! So to ask where is God in all of this, is a fallacy. We should ask, is this what God wants of and from me/us? Am I where God wants me/us to be? Are my/our actions what God desires from me/us?

God has, is and promises to be working in and through all things at all times in all places, all at the same time to reconcile creation to him/herself! To be part of God's re-creating work, requires one to open his or herself to the holy spirit and to give!

Unless and until we find ways to set aside the issues that divide us we can never be faithful to God.

As for where God is in all of this, well God is right here, and where pray tell are we . . .

Sunday Morning Coffee

2009-11-01T07:49:00.000-05:00

I awakened to the Sunday morning hits on the radio from 1972, those songs took me back to a time where I neither worried about mortgages, work, credit card payments, or insurance . . . my only concern in 1972 was . . . . . . well, I guess I really had none . . . other than where to hang out with friends . . . which we did every waking moment, we also did not have tweeter, facebook, or blackberries. The telephone and passing notes in class were our most modern modes of communication that facilitated our plans for hanging out, listening to rock and roll and . . . yes, spending hours on end just sitting and talking . . . life was in slow motion... yes, we talked often about speeding it up, going to far away places . . . . We did not know how truly precious, fragile and fleeting those moments really were . . .The days of 1972 are gone, but the thing that made those moments special still remains......that sense of timelessness is deep within us ...a desire for laughter....a capacity for wonder......and a longing to wander . . . . . .

New To This

2009-10-31T23:22:00.000-04:00

Well, here we go, another new turn in my life long wandering, wondering, and yes with this first blog - laughing! My spouse blogs quite often, and for a while I was "wondering" what that must be like. So, here I am "wandering" in the blog-o-sphere! Anyone "laughing" yet?