forgiveness?

As we begin discussions among ourselves and in our Sunday school and small groups regarding forgiveness it is important to keep ever present in our minds what forgiveness is and is not. Each of us have some level of bible IQ, and that is probably just enough to be  dangerous. We must approach this subject humbly. We don't know, what we don't know; we are unconsciously incompetent on this subject, forgiveness. Moreover, most of us are not trained clinicians or therapists, so again, caution is the order of the day. So, I offer the following for you as we make this journey.

"Forgiveness means that we are not going to allow
the experiences of the past to dominate our future”

• If the term "forgiveness" is a stumbling block, think of the process as letting go of the bitterness.
• Forgiveness is not a one-time choice but a series of choices that redirects your focus away from the past.
• Forgiveness is not the same thing as a pardon. If the other person had not harmed you, there would be no need to forgive.
• Reconciliation is not required to forgive. Your abuser does not even need to know that you have chosen to let go of your bitterness.
• Forgiveness is not forgetting or pretending it didn’t happen. It did happen, and we need to retain the lesson learned without holding onto the pain.
• Forgiveness is not excusing. We excuse a person who is not to blame. We forgive because a wrong was committed.
• Forgiveness is not giving permission to continue hurtful behaviors; nor is it condoning the behavior in the past or in the future.
• Forgiveness is not reconciliation. We have to make a separate decision about whether to reconcile with the person we are forgiving or whether to maintain our distance.
• Finding a qualified therapist with experience in counseling people with abuse history is an important part of healing from abuse. A therapist can help you work through the process of forgiving your abuser.

If would like to talk with a counselor contact our Ministry Partner, LifePoint Counceling Center. http://www.lifepointcenter.org/.