I was googling through the internet searching for background on “forgiveness” and abuse and I ran across a wonderful, pointed quote that says what I feel. I paraphrase it here; “I choose to no longer experience the world through this piece of pain”. My intent is to make the effect experiential. Stating clearly that I will no longer be:
Trapped by this pain;
- Controlled by this pain;
- Enslaved by this pain;
- Defined by this pain;
- Be All Consumed By This Pain
To forgive means putting down the pain and releasing the abuser from recompense. That is a ten dollar word for revenge. This does not mean that you are releasing the offender from just deserts under law, no, the person who hurt you may have to face the consequences of their actions according to the laws of the state. The release I am talking about here is the “thing” that causes you grief, anxiety, anger and which “controls” your thoughts and actions and relationships. Putting that aside enables and empowers your “living” again! To live your life the way God desires for you!
As I wander through this life, I learn more and more of the brokenness in this world and in those I meet. Taking the time to listen has resulted in blessings beyond all measure for me. I am humbled by those who stop and share their pain with me. I hurt for them deeply. A friend describes this as being an “empath”. Noted Psychologist, Heinz Kohut, puts it this way, “Empathy is the capacity to think and feel oneself into the inner life of another person”. Empathic listening signals openness, and acceptance. More good can be done being silent and attending to someone in pain than all the words in the english language.
My lesson learned is that God intends for us to be free, and to pursue wholeness – Shalom! That means simply being open to the Holy Spirit through constant prayer and conversation with others. That conversation also means being willing to sit with and hear the stories of others walking in their own pain. Through walking with others in their pain is freeing for oneself as well. We are not alone and we should not live as if we are alone. God is with us, God promises Good to us and for us and God keeps her promises!
God’s Peace,
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