inner peace...

We hear a lot these days about seeking and finding inner peace. Some of us depend on various drugs that effect mood, blood pressure, and so on. Others rely upon yoga, meditation, long distance running, weight lifting or other forms of escape and relaxation. These avenues of escaping into ourselves are not bad or wrong in fact they are quite good for us. These approaches are designed to impact the physical aspects of our lives - the quality of our physical being. And we should explore these, but within a healthy framework. For me that framework is discovering who I am as a child of God and what it means to be a member of the christian community. Moreover, working through my own personal baggage left over from my teen and early adult years is challenging and vital to my family. I am making progress, some days are better than others, and some just suck, that is when I lapse into the badness.

For me though, it is only through an ever increasing understanding of who I am, whose I am, who God is, and what his promises hold for me that gives me hope, strength and encouragement to get through the bad days and to live fully in the good ones. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed when I start thinking about things, plans and possiblities beyond the right now. Coming to understand the value, the fullness of living "in the moment" of "experiencing" the fullness of the present is a learned behavior. A learned behavior that runs counter to every norm, every expectation the world has inculcated in each of us. Yet, it is that awareness of self and God that holds the essence of our physical, emotional, and spiritual well being.

I will continue to pursue learning to experience the fullness of the present, to wait, to listen, to understand - to become comfortable with the stillness, with the silence, and yes even with the darkness.  It is here in the darkness where I will find my answers and it is here in this darkness that I will experience the fullness of God and and it is in this journey through the darkness that I will grow into the father, husband, and friend God desires me to become for my family and for me... Just think about that....