“Living Now”

“We must live in the present, launch yourself in every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” – Thoreau

“We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal and then leap in the dark to our success.” – Thoreau

As my life’s journey enters its 56^th year, I find myself viewing and experiencing the world from an altogether different perspective than in my youth. In my early years I truly lived in the moment launching on every wave that came my way, regardless of direction or intensity. My focus was on myself and the world as a whole was of no consequence to me personally. And yes, I did leap in the dark, but not always to success. So why then do I see differently now. Today, after 56 years, given the erosion of my health and the struggle of day to day living, I truly feel and embrace my mortality.

Death is an absolute certainty, and the fact that my body reflects the stresses of a hard life gives substance to the emerging reality of this human mortality. So in an through this feeling, this perspective is how I now see the world and those around me.

I am more sensitive today to the suffering of others. I ache when I see conflict in relationships. I know now how truly fragile life is and moreover how fragile our relationships are with others. If we do not build upon our connections with each other and learn how to live with each other then what are we and what will become of us. I can tell you that we will live alone, feeling the pain of alienation. We are meant to be in community and to have community we must “live” with each other.

I can remember hearing these words, “Once a harsh word is spoken, that moment can never be undone for the damage is done”. True!!! So true!!! Yet, in and through this reality we still must “live” with each other. We must “move” forward, our relationship must “grow”.

The perspective I see now is the clear distinction between good and evil. I see clearly what could be and still I am given to the rash moments of harsh, hard words to those who do not do what we want or expect. But you see, I NOW know that about myself and because I know this I can NOW do something about it. I have a choice and I know the consequences of these choices.

Thoreau, to me, is saying that all we really have is the “present moment”, and beyond that moment is the “”darkness of uncertainty”. But what he is also saying is if we launch into the darkness with “faith”, “trust”, “hope” and “love” then what happens in the “darkness” is happening to “US”- “ToGether!”

Looking beyond the shell of our experiences into the heart of each person opens a door to a kind of relational existence that God desires for us while we struggle in this fragile, uncertain, broken world where Sin, Death and the Devil are ever present. Leaping into the moment through that door to the heart of each other I believe leads us closer to God, for God for each other. And in that moment we truly “Live”!

May you find peace by Living NOW in this present moment and walk through the door of another’s heart and experience the “Hope” that God desires for us by giving us each other!

Amen.

Giving Becomes Wealth

“We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Today I am 56 years and 1 month old. A notable achievement to those who grew up with me. I am talking about those who recall my 16-23 year old period.

I can say without a doubt I never gave a moment’s thought to my age, station in life or anything other than myself in the present moment in those days. Of course I cannot remember most of those moments either and it is probably just as well!!! What I mean to say is inasmuch as I did not give the future any thought then, so now today that is equally true, for different reasons. In those 16-23 year old exploits I spent more time taking than I did in giving and though my life unfolded as it did by the grace of God, I am richer today in looking back.

The difference is today I seek to live out each moment as fully and completely as I can, not for me, but for those around me, those that love me, those I know, those I may come to know, and the total stranger I meet only for a brief moment.

Today that matters, back in the day it did not. Today those experiences fill my heart with joy satisfying an emptiness that only God knows about and only God can fill.

By awakening to the human experience, to the awareness of the struggles of others, to the Holy Spirit working in and through each circumstance in my life’s experience affords a glimpse of the beauty and wonder of God. God’s  PERFECT LOVE!

In these moments I know that I am richer beyond measure.  Being willing to be poured out as a moment of kindness leaves an indelible impression upon a heart and soul that I may never, ever meet again. But in that brief instant, we are connected for an eternity by and through the Holy Spirit! Not because of me, not by me,  but by and because of God.

Living as an  empty vessel to be filled and spilled as red wine through all of my cracks and crevices that only God knows about leaves an eternal mark on those we pass by on life’s journey.

I cannot in coherent terms explain what all this means and I cannot provide some grand theological framework or model. What I can do  is tell you that God loves us, all of us, none excluded. For in order to Love Me, You, Us, God who is perfect, must love all  regardless of who or what we are or become.  God does  not love by exception.  He created, creates and promises to create.

This awareness brings me more peace than you can ever know, you may not agree and that is ok, because I am ok with that. I believe that Jesus came not to judge us but to save us and in so doing provided a way back to God for all of creation. In order for that to work, it must be for all people, for all time – past, present and future. As we say in the Creed, Jesus died, was buried, descended into hell and on the third day he rose.

That is powerful, compelling, and all encompassing! Jesus defeated sin, death and the devil for all people – past, present and future. He paid the price for all of creation. And so, for me, living life in the present moment with full consciousness of how I am loved, I seek to give as much of that moment to others as I can. Being present with others, for others is as much an experience in God’s Love as I think one can have. And for me that has made all the difference!

God’s Peace Be With You Always

Hummingbird Don’t Fly Away, Fly Away

 

This Sunday my daughter and grand-daughter came over for the afternoon and dinner. A wonderful time of laughter and excitement playing with the puppies and just taking in little Lillie Reese as explored every nook and cranny of our home.

It was right before dinner was ready that I stepped out the back door to walk the dogs when my heart sank. At my feet just beyond the screen door sat a precious little humming bird. He was just sitting on the step, not moving. I moved closer and it appeared to me that his wing was damaged, though I could not tell exactly how. I moved to gently pick him up and he fluttered and fell down to the next step, his wing was broken.

The lump in my throat was choking me. I felt so helpless. This little life, and there was nothing I could do. I gently picked him up and carried him to the edge of the yard where we have large holly bushes and ground cover and placed him there. At least he would have some protection from predators and the weather. So little, so fragile, so helpless – what could I have done? What should I have done? I just do not know at this point? I felt so helpless and totally useless? A creature of our great and loving God was hurt and I only moved the little life to a shelter and left him there to die. God have mercy upon me and forgive me for my selfishness.

I find myself of late looking for meaning in everything. It was not more than a month ago that I was standing in the back yard when I heard a buzzing sound, and when I turned around, there was a humming bird hovering just a few feet away from me and at eye level. He just hovered there for a few seconds, looking right at me, I said hello little one, and then he turned and flew away! I could not help but wonder if this was the same bird, and how he came to be injured.

I don’t know what all this means, if it means anything at all. But for now, I am feeling that God is revealing to me a truth about creation and “living” life. That truth is that “living” is a struggle and that there are no promises or guarantees of anything save the breath in our lungs. I live in the certainty that at some point I will die and there is nothing I can do about that certainty. I live in the certainty that loved ones may become sick, injured and die at some point, and there is nothing I can do about that outcome either. Just as I was unable to prevent the injury and subsequent death of that precious bird, I am powerless to stop such events and outcomes in my life and the lives of those dear to me.

The question that remains is how will I “Live” Life with these truths. Will I let these truths paralyze me to the point that I am unable to experience and “Live” in the love and joy of those that love me? Let this not be so! Let me “Live” in joy and peace. I am certain that God desires these things for me and those near to me. Yet, that is the very thing I have absolute control over. How I respond to the “things” that “happen” to me, around me and because of me is mine and mine alone! I own my behavior, thoughts and feelings and the expression of those same behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.

I pray that God will grant me peace and strength to “live” in the joy of the gifts I have been given and to know God is in and through all that is around me and yet to come to me. I love my family and nothing will change my love for them or their love for me! Someone once said “Life Is For The Living!” How true if you are not alive with the love of God you are not “LIVING”! I pray to be ALIVE with the Love of God, for God,  for Others!

The Angel Said, “Fear Not”

It was 17 years ago that I was blessed by an angel of God speaking a clear, unequivocal and prophetic truth that just now has its meaning become clear. Ms. Elizabeth O’Connor, a writer, teacher, counselor, and missionary to the inner-city. She was a staff member of The Church of The Savior in Washington D.C., since 1953, and served as a support minister to that faith community, working with many of their mission programs. The words that follow spring from a program called “30 Good Minutes”, and at the time I first heard these words I would often reflect with friends and family that I understood and would share my views of the importance of preparing for change. It sounded good, and may have been of some help and comfort to others, but I was missing the point. Until recently I really had no idea of the foundational feelings that anchored Ms. O’Connor’s words and what they really meant.

In the last month, I was informed that my job would end, and thankfully I have about 11 months to secure another job. However, it is in the moment that I received the news I realized that I was now “in that hard place between the no longer and the not yet. The old is coming to an end or has ended, and we are not at all certain that we will find what it is we are to do next. It is often a time of self-doubt and of wobbling self-esteem.”

Elizabeth O’Conner was speaking directly to me. She gently described that “every seven years God takes us out into the wilderness so that we can hear the coming of the Angel. It is time to be born again, but first comes the dying -- dying to old fears, old conditions, old habits and expectations, a time of emptying and waiting -- waiting to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit. What psychology calls a transition stage, Scripture calls a wilderness experience”.

I thought I was a person of faith, a believer in God. I expressed it with my words, and at times with my deeds. I had often spoken of “wilderness experiences”. I had experienced tragic death, fear and joy! But I had not experienced an absolute outcome so intimately mine! Feelings of extreme frustration gripped me! There was no changing this outcome. I was going to be unemployed! My income was going to stop! I was angry and afraid all at the same time. I felt so insecure, and betrayed! It was there that the secret to my growth lay. In these long buried scars now fully exposed must be confronted.

Here I experienced the grace of Ms. O’Connor’s prophecy. She shared that “a creative Work is connected with our deepest being, with the divinity that we carry in ourselves. It is an experience of liberation and of power and joy. It holds the mystery of Christ. This is why it is essential that we find the work that is ours to do”. In my long buried pain lay the fertile ground in which the Holy Spirit was cultivating new life in me, for me for my family and others.

Today I do not know what the future holds, and I am ok with that. The gift I was given by Elizabeth O’Conner 17 years ago reassures me that God is at work in and through my life. Abraham endured the wilderness and God was with him. I am in the wilderness and God is with me. I am called by God to Live this gift of life moment by moment with the full and complete awareness that I am loved and to share that love with all whom I know and meet!

May The Peace of Christ Be With You Always!

Amen.

Pray Dream Pray Build

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be.

Now put foundations under them!" - Henry David Thoreau

Ever found yourself wondering……

If your life mattered?
If you were making a difference?
If your dreams will ever come true?

Well, if you thought about answering yes to any of these or similar questions, it is my duty to inform you that you are perfectly normal! In case you did not already know that, I just wanted to get that in.

Yes, doubt is a normal, human feeling. Yes, doubt is an emotion that evokes a change in our thought processes. When any emotion takes the lead, our sensibilities take a hike! 

Understanding how we process information, think, and make decisions is an area where we all could use some awakening. Too often we walk about unconsciously incompetent in many areas of “living” life. Being open to the reflection of our “living” from others is a key ingredient in moving from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. Just knowing where we are broken is empowering. 

Yes, there in lay our choice. We must choose to listen and hear the reflection, then we must choose to process, think about and be responsive to that reflection. In and through this process the Holy Spirit is at work guiding, comforting, and helping us move away from incompetence towards a more healthy, productive and positive “living” of life.

This is of course a bit more involved than the few lines of my writing here. Remember, a human being is involved. A human who is prone to certain defined, predictable patterns or habits of “living” life. So, if we accomplish nothing other than this small awareness, God will create extraordinary new things in, through and from  this fertile ground.

There are a few key things to consider in starting this journey;

• Resist the temptation to do this on your “own”. We are not an island. God created us to live and thrive in community.

• Keep a personal journal or notebook of your thoughts and feelings as you begin this journey. Write your prayers to God, regardless of what they are. This is between you and God.

• When feeling over whelmed, or that old sensation of fear, dread begins creeping in, take out the journal and reflect back on what you have written. I guarantee that you will glimpse the work of the Holy Spirit in your life. 

• When all else fails, start with # 1 and repeat the process!

Jesus reminds His disciples of a promise, a promise of and from God: Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me, John 14. And in John 16:33 he tells his disciples that they will have trouble, but, that He has overcome the world. We are not going to be free from pain, what we are free from is eternal separation from God! God is with us in and through all of life, death and life!

The place where God really wants to be is in our choices regarding the “Living” of Life! There the best work of the Holy Spirit will be done, and it is there that Thoreau is talking about building the foundation beneath our dreams!!!

God's Peace Be With You Always!

Unexpected Unknown Uncertain Unwanted

On this day I find myself staring head on into an unexpected, unwanted, uncertain, and unknown future. In an instant my life's focus and the welfare of my entire family is swept away in the news of my loss of employment. And so I join the hundreds of thousands of 50 somethings who find themselves unemployed and wondering how they will live!

The stress I felt at the moment I was told is odd to explain. I was shocked, angry, sad and frightened all at the same time. Then I felt as if I were suspended in in time as if between two realities. I could see what was real and what was familiar and what was wanted and what was desired and I could see darkness and unknown, uncertain, unwanted, and unexpected in what was yet to be but was coming with certainty!

In that moment and the moments that followed I felt the real, comforting and certain presence of the Holy Spirit and the love of my wife. Later that same day I held my grand daughter close and felt her gentle heart beat.

Her smiles and gentle clinging to my hands reminded me that I too am a child - a child of the most high God! And I too am held gently in her hands, and that nothing, nothing, nothing can separate me from that eternal, everlasting love.  And even though uncertainty may reign supreme for a time, God loves me and my family loves me and that is all that matters, and that makes all the difference in this world!   

For God so loved the world..................

Amen!

Two Roads Diverged - And I…

Sometime ago, I expressed my feelings about one of my favorite poems. “The Road Not Taken”, by Robert Frost.  For me, Frost represented my life in totality in these few lines of compelling wisdom, beauty and truth.

Every time I read and reflect on these words, memories flood, with radiant color and clarity, into my conscious awareness. Moreover, it is in those times that  I experience absolute clarity that I am where I am because of the great cosmic power of the Holy Spirit working in, around and through me.  There is no other explanation for the events in life that led me here to this place on this day at this very moment with those around me who love me for who I am just as I am!!!!!

Even so, I am given to wondering how different my circumstance might be had my choices been different or timing early or late.  Yet, it is in those moments of wondering and doubt that I again feel the real presence of the Holy Spirit gently nudging me, nourishing me back to the place I need to be to experience and know God.

Through all of the travails and tribulations of life I am reminded by the Spirit of God, just as Elijah was reminded at the mouth of the cave, that God is always present, and that I can find and experience God only when my heart, spirit and mind are stilled and focused only in the present and only on God. So I once again find great comfort, peace and encouragement in Frost’s beautiful and prophetic words;

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear,

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way

I doubted if I should ever come back.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference

 

The Road Not Taken (Robert Frost, 1874 – 1963)

לקחתי את אחת פחות נסע וזה עשה את כל ההבדל

 

God’s Peace Be With You Always,

 

Sandy Gibson

Another Day

As I so casually say some times, "just another day!". But now I find myself understanding what a blessing it is to actually have,"just another day!"

In awakening to "just another day", I enter a world that has started all over again, really! A new morning, fresh coffee, hot donuts, clean cool morning air to just name a few. I am coming to understand that it is my attitude that shapes my responses to the things and persons I encounter on this new day.

The journey can be one of genuine excitement like looking for hidden treasue, really does that sound like a childs game? Maybe it should, I do so want to approach each and every day from here on out as an expectant journey with a childlike curiosity and grace during which I expect to see our God creating new life all around me and I am an active part of that work.

So it is indeed just another day that the Lord has made and I will be glad and REJOICE IN IT!

Thanks Be To God !